Ten Reasons to Have Hope

Watching The Snow Fall

Chapter Four

Sunday, December 16th

The Second Day

On their way home from church that morning, Samantha got a text message and was walking ahead of the group trying to get a better signal on her old cell phone. The snow had begun to fall heavier, but earlier that morning Adeline begged to walk to church, trying to defend the cold weather by saying, "It wouldn't be so bad if not for the wind". This time, Alan made sure to wear his gloves.The snow was pilling in an unusual amount. Not that it was unusual for it to snow in December in Chicago. Everyone knows that Chicago, Illinois, is part of the Midwestern Region of the United States, therefore the weather is bipolar. No one ever knew what the weather would be like, just like everywhere else.Samantha wished she had worn a better wig that day, or maybe at least a hat. It was getting chillier as the minutes drew on. She tugged on her coat to try to conserve heat as she trudged down the sidewalk back towards the house. Turning a corner and not looking ahead of her, instead looking down at her phone, Samantha ran into a boy, a cute boy, that graduated from her school back in May. She looked up at him and recognized him instantly. Jonathan Jacobs, he was in Samantha's art class the semester before. He was the cliché of every teen fiction movie. Blonde hair, blue eyes, nice car, he was everyone's dream. Samantha hated that she was attracted to him."Hey, are you okay?" Jonathan said, flipping his fluffy dirty blonde hair out of his face. He had metallic blue eyes and a million freckles, just like stars on a clear night."Yeah, I'm alright." She said, before she sneezed, making Alan, once again, hope that she didn't have a cold."Bless you. Sandara? From art class? That is your name, right?" He smiled, hoping that he was correct. He wasn't."No, it's Samantha." She almost instantly lost interest in him. She had a crush on him last spring, but he had no idea who she was."Ah, I remember now." He smiled. "I had too big of a crush on you to ever ask you what your name was, you were too cute and I thought you would reject me." Nice save, Samantha thought."Reject you? Oh... no. I-" She was silently cut off. Jonathan took her hood off of her head and tucked a lock of dark red hair behind Samantha's ear, revealing a rosy red color on her cheeks. The redness was an effect of the tiny flakes of snow falling and landing on her warm face and melting. That, and the fact that a cute boy was flirting with her, and that she thought she had a chance with him.She looked at him and smiled again, prompting him to smile back at her. She thought he was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that's mind blowing to see in real life. The closest thing he could compare him to would be the perfect boy in every movie that falls for the geek and they live happily ever after.She began to let those thoughts get to her head. Though he had graduated, he was still only a few months older than her and it was totally fine if she started going out with him. What could go wrong?"So, Samantha, what do you do for fun?""I, well, I like to read, and write, and draw on occasion.""Really? What else?""I don't do much aside from write." She glanced to the side and blushed again, hoping that she said the right thing and that wasn't too weird or boring for someone who probably parties every Friday night."I would love to read some of your work." She looked at Jonathan's freckled face and saw his sincere smile. "I'm failing my College English class, I know you're younger than me-""By a month or two." Samantha blurted."Yes, anyway, I know you're a grade below me, but would you be willing to come over sometime and tutor me, maybe?""I'd love to!""Great! How does this afternoon sound? Maybe again tomorrow evening? My parents have plans, so it will just be the two of us, as long as that's fine with you.""Yeah, that's fine. Where do you live?""In the coffee shop downtown. Your family should come to eat there sometime."Alan overheard this and piped in. "What's the shop called, young man?"Jonathan turned to face Alan with a friendly smile on his face. "Jacob's Joint". Samuel and Alan made eye contact, and from atop Samuel's shoulders was Adeline, for her shoes got wet from the snow. She decided that they were due to a trip to a restaurant. She was hungry for Belgian Waffles. It was time for brunch, after all.When the group got to the restaurant, Jonathan immediately tossed on an apron and went into the back of the little cafe and came back out with his mother and father,who shook Alan and Samuel's hand first, then Adeline's, finally Samantha's. "My name is Krista Jacobs, Jonathan's mother. This is his father, Adam.""My dear," Krista turned her attention to Samantha, "You have such lovely hair! I remember when I was your age, I had quite the curly hair."She put her hand against the corner of her mouth as if whispering and said, "It was the eighties, could you tell?" Krista and Samantha laughed."Actually," Samantha began. "You could get hair like this yourself, you know." Krista looked confused. Samantha took off her hat and then her dark red wig, revealing a bald head. "I have Alopecia, it means most of my hair falls out and my skin can't handle the weight of hair almost.""Oh, my dear girl," Krista began. "I'm so sorry!""Don't be!" Samantha said. "I love it, I can change my hair whenever I want." She smiled with her pearly teeth with a space in the center. She hated when people called them 'buck teeth'. "Curly, straight, blonde, black, red, purple," She smiled. "You name it, I probably have it." When she tried to put her wig back on, Jonathan stopped her."No!" He lunged forward, abruptly stopping and retracting. "Don't put it back on, I mean, unless you want to...""Wait, why not?""I think you're beautiful, that's why." Her heart sank. Damn, that was a good one. I hope he likes Nirvana."Oh," Samantha blushed. "I guess I won't put it back on."Krista agreed with Samantha's decision. "You look lovely no matter what, hair or none." Krista smiled and turned to Adeline and said, "My, my, my, what pretty shoes!"Adeline beamed. "Thank you. They're wet, but it's okay. Samuel gave me a piggy-back ride.""Now stop that," Krista scolded her. She rolled her eyes and Alan suddenly became concerned and confused, not really knowing how to respond.Alan looked at her and said, "Excuse me?"Krista looked at Alan and told him, "You shouldn't teach your daughter to call her daddy by his first name. It's not traditional."Samuel jumped when she referred to him as Adeline's father. "Oh, no, ma'am, I believe you're mistaken... I'm not Adeline's father.""Well, you're Mr. Howland's partner, aren't you?" Samuel and Alan tried to shake their head, but for one reason or another, Krista's eyes were closed."Well, no-" Samuel was cut off. He wondered if this would be a reoccurring thing."Even step-parents deserve the same respect as blood.""Mrs. Jacobs?" Alan said, closing his eyes and raising his hands."Yes, Mr. Howland?" She turned to him."You're mistaken, Samuel is just a family friend." This was a confusing conversation that didn't make much since."Oh dear, my apologies!"Alan put his hands up again and smiled. "It's okay, I will admit that Samuel is quite the handsome fellow, but he is just a friend." Samuel couldn't hide the blush. Jonathan visibly cringed and invited Samantha upstairs where they lived. He kissed her hand as he pulled her gently out of her seat. She smiled.As they walked out of the cafe door, Samantha looked back at her father and he winked at her. Jonathan took off his beanie hat and put it on Samantha, who beamed up at him, sharing a glance with Adeline, who gave Samantha a double thumbs up.Walking outside and up the staircase next to the cafe, Samantha and her new love interest stepped inside, Jonathan holding the door open for her. He led her down the hall to his bedroom. She opened the door and stepped inside. What waited for her was beautiful. A queen-sized bed right under a window overlooking the bustling streets below him.To the right there was a gorgeous handmade desk created with pine and some incredible sealant. It shone in the light. She looked up as a thousand tiny lights illuminated the room. "Hope you don't mind the mood lighting," Jonathan said. "I prefer working under the light of Christmas lights during the holiday season." They smiled at each other.For the next few hours, Samantha did as she promised for Jonathan. She helped him with his English homework from before Christmas break where he went to school. The work he postponed for an entire month was finished, with help by Samantha, in exactly three hours and forty-five minutes."Thank you so much, Samantha, you have no idea.""It's no big deal." She sat down on his bed and turned around, looking out the window. "When do your parents get off work?""Around five, why?""Would you mind if I stayed for dinner?" She asked him. "My dad loves to cook, but since your mother is the head cook in the coffee shop, I figured she'd like to cook too." Samantha smiled and continued to look around. "I've never had a motherly home-cooked meal.""Well, you're sure going to love my mom's chicken." He smiled. "It's going to be much better than the box macaroni and cheese we had for a snack a little bit ago.""I bet" Samantha laughed along with him, her stomach growling in excitement.When Adam and Krista arrived, Krista's famous chicken was thrown in the oven and started. Sitting at the table with an entire family that was happy hit home for her for some reason. A mother and a father, and a sister and a brother. And her. She was there too, and she was involved. It felt great to be involved with a family like this. She felt a connection with Jonathan, obviously, but also more towards his little sister. She felt like Jackie understood what it was like to be, well, misunderstood.Jonathan's parents seemed to like Samantha, and so did Jonathan's little sister, Jackeline, who was thirteen. Jackeline appeared to have some sort of issue with her hearing. She didn't seem to be able to understand some of the things that were said to her. Samantha was shocked when Jackeline connected with her so fast. Jackeline also had to have help with homework over Christmas break. She was supposed to read the book "To Kill A Mockingbird" and she hated it. Samantha sat on her bed and read her the book with as much passion as the author intended. It did help Jackeline to be read to, though she could only hear the parts that Samantha emphasized. Samantha learned that Jackeline learned better when it was being told to her, not when she had to use her brain too much. She also learned that Jackie did have a hearing loss disorder, and for some reason didn't have a hearing aid.She could hear people talking and loud sounds, but small things she couldn't hear, like a cat's purr or the hum of a vehicle. Samantha was fine with that and promised Jonathan's sister that she would come over and read to her more often.In reality, Samantha was jealous. This family looked like a family. All of them had blonde hair, freckles, and the same eyes and noses. Samantha had no visual similarities to her little sister. They were nowhere close in age, and they weren't the same skin color. Not the same eye color. Nothing. And she looked nothing like her father, either.The Howland Family didn't look like a family, and that's all she wanted at that moment. She wished her family was normal. Normal, as in she wished her family was a real family. She wished she wasn't adopted. She wished that whoever brought her into this world would have kept her. Not that she wasn't happy with her father, or even her family, but she wished she would find the person that had the same nose as her, the same eyes, anything. Maybe even the same style as her. Maybe even one of her parents had Alopecia as she does.Samantha thought she fit in quite nicely with this "normal" family. After dinner, Jackeline invited her new friend to her bedroom."I need to talk to you, Jonathan hasn't invited a girl home in a while." She paused to close the door and click the lock. "No one usually comes around a second time.""Why is that?" Samantha acknowledged her locking the door and dread rushed over her, but she continued to listen.Jackeline shook her head. "My family isn't what they seem. My mother is cheating on my dad with someone she works with downstairs at the diner, and when my dad found out the first time, oh boy, they fought so loud my dad tipped the dresser over.""Oh?" Samantha sat down on her bed. "I'm so sorry, Jackie.""That's not even the first, or last, time that he's hit her. Sometimes mom doesn't even come home because she's at another man's house. Every time she won't give my dad a direct answer as to where she was, he takes her to the closet and she comes out with another bruise that she got from "a bad fall at work." It's terrible."Samantha rubbed her back. "Jonathan isn't any better." Jackie spat out. This caught Samantha off guard. "He acted so gentlemanly, though, how could he be a bad guy?"Jackie shook her head and stood up."I swear, I'm the only one in this house that sees something wrong here. I don't know. Whenever he gets a new girlfriend, I bond with them and then I never see them again. They break up with him the first time they stay the night, sometimes they don't even stay." She sighed."Why? What does he do? Do you know?" Samantha leaned forward and asked.She nodded hesitantly. "Probably the same thing he does to me," Jackie said, uncomfortably holding her stomach. She looked down at her feet. Samantha stood up and knelt in front of her, taking her hands."Jackie, what has he done?""He touches me weird.""What do you mean, weird?""I don't want to talk about it. It's just weird." She shook her head and looked down. She looked embarrassed like it was her fault whatever it was."Honey... Please tell me. I can help you."She looked over to the side. She didn't say a word for a long time. Eventually, she started to cry. Samantha stood up and wrapped her arms around her and let her cry. "He's my brother." She sobbed. "And he thinks it's okay to touch me, it's not fair. Mom and Dad won't help me. They think I'm saying those things for attention."She wrapped her arms around Samantha, crying into her sweater."It's okay, Jackie, it's okay.""It's not okay. It's not okay at all. I need to get out of here. They don't even want me here. They keep telling me that they are going to adopt me out. My own parents don't want me.""Don't say that," Samantha told her. "I'm sure they love you."Jackie shook her head. "They want me gone. They have told me that they don't want me. They weren't even drunk, Samantha, they just hate me!"Samantha knelt and took her hand. "I'll get you out of here, then, someday. Whatever Jonathan does to you isn't okay and you should not have to deal with it. If what you think is going to happen actually happens, I'll get you out of here. This won't be the last time you see me, Jackie, whatever happens, we will stick together.""Promise?""I promise.""Samantha?""Yeah?""If he does anything to you, will you come get me?""I'll send a signal," Samantha said. "Stay awake tonight."Jackie nodded. "Stay aware, Samantha, I love you.""I love you too."Later that night, Krista and her husband left for the evening. After Samantha showered, she walked into Jonathan's bedroom and something seemed different. He had lit candles, and his Christmas lights were on. He had made his bed and everything, but he was sitting at his desk writing. "Oh! Samantha! I didn't hear you come in. Make yourself at home, my dear."Something twisted in Samantha's gut. Something was wrong. Instead of acting too harshly too fast, she nodded and looked out the window above his bed. The snow was starting to pile up. He slipped his arm around her. She didn't hear him get up. It made her jump, but she didn't think much of it."Isn't it wonderful?" He said. She smiled and nodded. Maybe Jackie is wrong, Samantha thought. Maybe Jonathan is a good guy.Back at home, Alan and Samuel tucked Adeline into bed."Will you tell me a story, Samuel?" She looked over and reached out for her Ducky."Sure," Samuel said, thinking about what he could say to her. "Once there was a 3-toed sloth. He was unhappy with how many toes he had. All of the other sloths had four toes. He wished he had more toes, so he made some out of Play-Doh. They were yellow. Later, he confused them for bananas and ate them. He got sick and threw up. The sloth decided 3 toes were plenty. The sloth realized that what he had was great, and he has no reason to want any more than he already had..""I'm glad the sloth is happy now." She yawned."Me too, Addie.""Mr. Samuel?""Yes?""Are you happy with my daddy?""What do you mean?""Now that you're here, with us, are you happy?" Samuel looked over at Alan who was standing in the doorway. Alan smiled."Tremendously," Samuel said."Mr. Samuel?""Yes?""What does tremendously mean?""It means I am very, very, VERY happy here with you all."Adeline smiled. "Well, we're happy with you too. Especially my daddy." Adeline sat up to give Samuel a big hug. He hugged her back. Alan's face went bright red and he smiled and pressed his hand to his heart.When Samuel slowly closed the door, he said, "So, you're especially happy I'm here?" Samuel smirked at him."I guess you could say that. Would you like some tea?" They went downstairs for some tea and to watch the blizzard blaze. "You know," Samuel said. "I am very grateful for you.""Are you?""Yes, very. You and your family are all I have and I appreciate all of you.""I'm glad I could help you, Samuel." Samuel put his tea down on the coffee table and folded his hands on his lap."If it was possible, I could talk to you for hours," Alan said. Samuel looked over at Alan and rubbed the back of his neck."You did more than help me," Samuel said, "You proved to me that the world doesn't have to be as bad as it seems.""I'm happy I found you.""You didn't only find me," Samuel said. "You found my heart." Samuel put his hand on top of Alan's and smiled. Alan blushed but smiled back. Samuel continued. "I don't ever really know what's right or what's wrong, but by God, I know you're the reason I am still alive right now and I cannot thank you enough.""Don't thank me," Alan said. "God planned to bring us together. No one knows what God is planning, but I know that you are going to be in my future." Alan put his other hand on top of Samuel's' and gave it a little squeeze, not acknowledging what he was doing."How long is the future going to last?" Samuel quietly asked him."All of eternity," Alan said, weaving his fingers into Samuel's. "You're more than a guest now. I don't think I ever want you to leave." Alan's eyes widened as he realized what he just said, then looking down to see what his hand was doing. What the hell am I doing? Alan mentally asked himself. What the hell is he doing? Why is this happening?Neither of them really had any idea what they were doing. Talking to each other like this felt normal. Like they had known each other their entire lives. In reality, they had only known each other for a few days. Crazy, Alan thought. Crazy how much I like this guy. Alan panicked momentarily, taking his hand away from Samuel. "I'm sorry," he said, standing up to leave the room and walk into the kitchen to figure out what he just did. "I have to pee."This is wrong, he thought, entering the kitchen, not to pee but to just get away. I just met him, why am I acting like this? I don't have feelings towards him. I'm making sure he doesn't kill himself, that's it. He looked out the kitchen window at the moon, which had just risen. The sky was a dark blue. Why did he let it happen? We aren't teenagers, we don't fall for someone in a few days. Alan sighed and walked towards the fridge to occupy himself and possibly his brain. He reluctantly wandered back into the living room when he saw that there was nothing in the fridge to occupy him.The awkward tension in the room was way too much for either of them to handle, but both of them ignored it, making small talk here and there until both of them fell asleep."Jonathan, can you turn around?" Samantha asked, rotating herself so that he couldn't see the front of her body."Why?""Because I'm not comfortable with you watching me get dressed.""But I want to watch you get dressed. You're my girlfriend, it's okay. Samantha rolled her eyes. "We've been dating for a day, but whatever, you creep." She turned around and slipped the shirt on over the towel, careful not to drop it. All of a sudden, she felt the towel fall to her feet and everything was cold. "I sure am a creep, aren't I?" The realization hit her like a truck. It wasn't gravity, it was Jonathan.Before she could react, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her on the neck. She tried to fight him off, then panicked and tried to cover herself. He grabbed at her and she screamed. He pressed his hand against Samantha's mouth. "You better shut up now, little girl." She reacted quickly and punches him in the stomach and he wields back in pain. He stumbled back and ran at her again. He slaps her in the face and she went down, hitting the ground with a thump.While she was in shock, he locked the bedroom door and turned back towards her. Jonathan picked her up by the throat and threw her onto his bed. She was in a haze from hitting her head on the bedpost when she hit the ground. Dizzier than she ever had been. Her eyes tried desperately to focus on him, Samantha's face widened into a face of pure terror when she struggled to watch him come towards her. "Let's get started, shall we?" He said, popping his knuckles. Dread rushed over Samantha like the ocean swallowing a thousand seashells.