Ten Reasons to Have Hope

Sunrises

Chapter Five

Monday, December 17th

The Third Day

It was nearly five o'clock in the morning when Alan and Samuel woke to the sound of two fists pounding on the door. The pair had fallen asleep on the couch together while watching the snow pile onto the ground through the window next to the fireplace. Alan ran to the door and swung it open to reveal his daughter and another child. Samantha was in nothing but a bra and sweatpants in a massive snowstorm. He noticed a small, frail, blonde girl with nothing but a frightened look on her petite face."What happened?" Alan opened his arms and Samantha fell right into him. She had kept from crying the entire run back to the house, but now that she knew she was safe in her father's arms, she felt comfortable enough to cry. To Alan, it wasn't just crying. It was the kind of desolate sobbing that only someone who lost hope could produce, like a mother who just lost her child."Jonathan is not what he says he is," Jackeline said. Alan held her tighter, feeling the cold skin on her back.Adeline woke up to the ruckus and wandered downstairs to investigate the sounds that she had heard from her sleep. "Daddy, what's going on? Why does Mantha not have clothes on?" Samantha dropped to the floor and hugged her sister. "There's too many bad people in the world, Peanut." She said through tears."It's okay." Adeline said. "I have you, and daddy, and Samuel, and Ducky to protect me from bad things.""That you do.""Let me get you some clothes, Samantha, and you too stranger" said Adeline, running up the stairs, feeling like she somehow saved the day.Alan turned to Samantha and grabbed her shoulders, subtlety shaking her until she looked up into his eyes. She looked cold from more than just the winter."What happened?" He asked in a stern voice. He was frightened, he didn't know what was going on, the only thing he did know was that his daughter was hurt and he had to do something about it. He wasn't sure what that something was.Samantha struggled to get anything to come out of her mouth. "He touched me... and he hit me... and pushed me around... and locked the door, and then it went dark and I can't remember..." She paused to gasp for air and let out a painful cry that broke Alan's heart. "...and then I woke up... I hit him back, dad, I hit him with his swivel chair... and I ran..." She hit him with a what? Samuel thought."You hit him with a chair?" Samuel asked, piping into the conversation. He tried to imagine the scene, but he didn't know what else to say. It was hard to imagine five-foot-girl swinging a large black desk chair at a tall muscular boy."She had to get out of there," Jackie put in, jumping into the conversation. "Jonathan is an awful guy!" She coughed and placed her head in her chest to hope to avoid the splitting wind that was blowing in the door."Yes, I'm sorry... I had to get out of there dad!" She sobbed and rubbed her eye with the inside of her wrist. "I'm sorry,""No, I'm not saying it was wrong, Samantha, how did you get out?" It wasn't wrong, Alan thought, it was completely right! Absolutely no way that's not the best option! It was the one thing that seemed right in a situation like that. He was disturbed mostly to hear the story, especially through the tears of his daughter. He partially dazed out of the conversation, only paying attention to the tears streaming down her face. Her mouth was creasing in a way that emphasized the split between her front teeth."I went out the window. After I hit him I ran around the house and threw rocks at Jackie's bedroom window until she crawled out on the roof and ran all the way here with me." She cried out and choked, coughing on air and trying to sniff to calm down."Are her parents okay with her being here?" Alan asked, after desperately trying to help calm down his crying child."That doesn't matter." Samantha coughed again. "They abuse her, they've thrown her on the streets more than once, please, don't take her home, dad!" She grabbed his shoulders with all of the energy that she had left."Sweetheart I won't!" He turned to Jackie. "You're welcome here whenever you don't feel safe at home.""Thank you, sir." She stepped inside and shivered, which was when Alan finally realized that the poor little girl was just standing around in the snow. A little late. He let go of Samantha and stumbled up to close the door.Samuel finally joined the conversation that had left him behind. "You're telling me... you picked up a fifteen pound office chair and swung it at a boy and it knocked him to the ground?"Samantha slowly nodded her head. "I hit him hard... I might have broken his nose." At this time Samantha had stopped crying as hard. Adeline ran downstairs carrying a T shirt for Samantha and two blankets. They talked about some things to get other things off of their minds. They talked about what it was like to be in Kindergarten and what it was like to be a dog. Conversation surrounded Adeline mostly, everyone adored her. It was around six o'clock when everything started going down as far as stress goes. After things calmed down a little bit, the five sat down on the couches and Samantha retold the story in a way that Adeline could understand it."Some people just aren't good people," She told her. "Some people like to do bad things to other people." Samantha tucked a lock of frizzy black hair around Adeline's little ear. She got flashbacks from the days prior, ones that she already wished she could forget about. She wished she could forget the feeling of his hands on her, his cold, huge hands that were unfamiliar to her. She didn't know how to feel about the fact that anything could have happened, that a stranger could do whatever he pleased. She cringed thinking the thoughts she couldn't help thinking.Adeline nodded, but she was visibly confused. She wasn't sure what Samantha was trying to tell her, but she decided that it wasn't as important as watching her favorite movie. "I know a bad person like that," She looked at Samantha who raised an eyebrow. "The Grinch!" Adeline said, with a huge smile on her face, the kind that made everyone feel warm inside.Samantha and Jackie agreed to watching the Grinch, but before that they wanted to see the sun rise. The clouds were like an eagle's great wings of gold and rose, with a tiny sprinkle in one spot, like a shower of glowing embers from a volcano. It was one of the most beautiful things Samuel had ever seen. He hadn't watched the sun rise since he was around fifteen when he worked at a pizzeria for an entire summer. Even then, it hadn't been this breathtaking. A sunrise is like seeing the edge of the earth burning with the first light of the day. The morning sky is pulling the fire up and as the fight continues the darkness submits to tranquility. The colors are a deep purple and red that seem to represent the struggle of the dark refusing to fade from the sky.Samuel breathed in through his nose and looked at it for longer than everyone else did, taking in the pure beauty of the sun taking over the darkness around them, finally sitting back down on the couch to watch the movie with everyone else.When everyone got up for the second time that morning, it was around noon already and Alan made lunch and the family decided to go on a splurge trip to help Samantha's self esteem. They came home with three new outfits each. Jackie included. The girls did a fashion show.In between rounds, Samantha apologized about not believing her about Jonathan. She shrugged. "It's alright."Alan entered the room and asked Jackie when she needed to be taken home. "I'm not sure if they want me home."Alan nodded. "I understand," he said. "You can stay here as long as you need to. Do you want to swing back to your house to see if they need you home?" He was reluctant to take her anywhere near that awful home. Alan was trying not to outwardly cringe as to not worry the poor girl, but his attempts failed as Jackie caught glimpse of what he was trying to hide and her posture subtly shifted and the atmosphere shifted with it.She sighed and scratched her inner elbow. Alan noticed she had marks where she had scratched. Maybe it's an anxiety tick and she digs at herself. He knew that he was wrong, but he didn't want to think about the alternative. He would confront her later, but definitely not now. It's not the time. "Not really," she paused and appeared to be weighing her options. "But yeah, we probably should." Alan looked at her with as little pity as he could. He wanted her to have a good life, but he didn't know how exactly he could help. If he could, he would take in Jackie in a heartbeat. The sad truth was that he knew he couldn't. The adoption process takes years, two to six years in particular. He knew that her parents would want her back eventually, though he was reluctant to comply. He trusted what Jackie and Samantha said.She and Alan, after a while of minimal conversation about anything serious, got into the car and drove to the Jacob household. Alan gave her a sympathetic smile and she got out of the car and Alan waited for a little while. He put the car in park and pulled out his cell phone. He tried to distract himself with Facebook, looking at pictures of his nephews on his sister-in-law's page. He looked back up at the house. The restaurant appeared to be closed, but he could see the large window upstairs had a light on. He looked at the front window of the little diner. There were Christmas decorations hung and it looked so homey. The windows upstairs had maroon curtains and he could faintly see a bed frame and some more Christmas lights. After a short wait scrolling through social media, Jackie came rushing back out with a backpack."I'm so sorry Mr. Howland that you have to deal with me." Her voice was shaking. She was in tears, making a sound that broke Alan's heart. A great sob escaped her and she pressed her trembling hands to her face, great tears flooded her pink cheeks."Sweetheart, no, no, it's okay! I would love to have you." His mind shot back to Samuel, then to her. "I even have a bedroom that we could turn into yours, if you'd like." He said. He didn't know how he was going to pull this off, if he could even."Really? You would take me in, just like that?" She clearly didn't believe him, but that was okay. This poor child had never felt anything close to love. Another cry escaped her lips and she sniffed, begging for the tears to subside. As her tears flowed, Alan's thoughts became more and more.He started the car and backed the car out of the driveway, driving back towards to his home. He looked at the little girl through the rear view mirror and smiled. "I've done it before. Nothing bad happened. What could go wrong?"She forced a grateful smile. She didn't want to make him feel like he was doing this for no reason. She was more thankful for him than she could describe to anyone. "Thank you, Mr. Howland.""Please," Alan said. "Call me Alan.""Yes sir." She scratched her head and rubbed her thigh. Alan glanced at her and sighed. He knew briefly what's going on, but he didn't want to pry her for too many details. Whatever she says is enough for me, he thought."So, dear, tell me, what's going on?" He looked at her through the mirror at her. She was staring out the window, tears still falling, but less now that she got it out of her system. Her face was red and she was chewing on her lip.Jackie shook her head. "My family isn't what they seem. Mom is cheating on dad and dad beats my brother and I. Don't even get me started on Jonathan."He glanced at her again through his rear view mirror. "What's wrong?"Jackie shook her head and turned towards the window, watching the blurry trees swiftly rush by. "I don't want to talk about it."Alan quietly sighed and reached over to flip on his left turn signal and pulled to a stop. "Then you shouldn't have to."They pulled up at the house and went inside. Jackie was mostly silent through most of the ride, watching the outside world disappear behind her. Alan tried to cheer her up to the best of his ability, but his dad jokes must have fallen short after driving Samantha insane. Alan walked up to Samuel and pulled him aside. "I need you to get your stuff out of my guest bedroom."Samuel looked hurt. "Did I do something wrong?" He whispered. He had just begin to fit in and he felt like he truly did belong with this family. Thankfully, Alan shook his head and closed his eyes. He continued to talk."Quite the contrary. You inspired me to bring another life into this house.""You got a dog?" Samuel raised his eyebrow and creased his forehead, not knowing what to say. He was allergic to dogs."No." He nodded towards Jackie, who was chatting with Addie. Samuel looked at her and saw that she had on a large backpack, probably packed with weeks of clothes."Oh! Where do you want me to put my stuff then?""We wear the same size. Find space in my dresser. There's a bathroom connected to my bedroom, make yourself at home.Okay, that was not what I was expecting, Samuel thought. He nodded and began taking his things out of the bedroom and Alan assisted him as he moved upstairs. Alan hoped that Samuel didn't think he was trying anything weird, or get with him or something. He was just overwhelmed with the amount of people in his house, and there was absolutely no way he was going to make that little girl sleep on the couch for an unknown amount of time, no way. Samuel didn't appear to mind sharing a bed. Alan thought it was strange, yes, but he decided he wouldn't comment and make him feel awkward for it.That evening, Alan was doing the rounds saying goodnight. He knocked on Jackie's door and walked in. She was sitting on the side of the bed scrolling through her phone."Hey, kid. How's your room?"She looked up at him and set her phone down, curling her legs onto the bed. She was wearing a white T shirt and a pair of light blue sweatpants. "It's wonderful. I have a tiny bed at home.""Well, you're always welcome here. No matter what, just give me a call." He looked around the room to the dresser by the wall where a stack of sticky notes sat. He jotted down his phone number and stuck it to the wall. "I'll be like your second dad." Alan smiled and leaned on the door frame, looking around at the decorations his mother had put all around the room and haven't been touched sense. He loved the way she designed things."You basically are my dad, Alan, you've spent more money on me today than my parents do for me on my birthday.""Oh, it's okay-""No, you don't understand." She cut him off. "You've poured your life on me. I can't appreciate it enough. When you told me yesterday that I'm always welcome, I thought you meant like... sleep on the couch, not get my own bedroom.""Don't mention it, sweetheart. Goodnight.""Goodnight." She smiled and looked around at the room that she would be staying in once again. It was amazing to her that Alan was doing so much for her. He treated her like a full child, he treated her with the respect that she wants to be given. He didn't make her feel awful for having an issue with her hearing, he made her feel loved and he gave her more support in less than twenty-four hours than her parents did in thirteen years.Alan smiled and flipped off the light, closing the door behind him. He looked around at the decorated house and thought about his mother for one more moment, then carrying on with what he was doing.He walked upstairs and knocked on Samantha's door. "Hey, baby, what's up." He, like he did in Jackie's room, leaned on the door frame."Stop trying to talk cool, dad, it doesn't work for you." She joked."Ha-ha." He smiled and looked over at the desk. He saw a folded up piece of paper, which sparked his curiosity instantly. Part of him wanted to snatch it and take it to the closet and read it, but obviously that was not a good choice. He looked back at Samantha. "Hey, can I ask you something about Jackie?" Alan felt odd about asking her, he felt as if he was going behind someone's back to gossip. He just had to know."Sure." She stretched her arms up and popped her fingers, making Alan cringe. He hated the sound."What happened between her and her brother?" This caught Samantha off guard and Alan noticed. He was on edge and he wasn't sure why."He, uh," She stuttered out, trying to find the words to explain to him what had been going on."What has he done?" Alan whispered, unknowingly leaning in closer, eager to know what happened. Eager to see if his suspicions were correct."He, um, he did more to her than he did to me." They were correct, Alan already knew."So, he-" He had leaned in again as to stay quiet, even though no one would hear them anyway and they hadn't actually quieted down with their conversation."Raped her, yes. Multiple times." She didn't want to say it, but she knew she had to. If she could of told him in any other way, she would."God," Alan whispered, shaking his head. "We have got to get her out of there." He thought of every way possible to help. Adopting her wasn't really an option. Calling the police crossed his mind, but he never did get around to it. He needed more information."I agree.""Well," Alan stood. "I'll see you in the morning, Oyster. We're going Christmas Tree shopping tomorrow. That's exciting.""I can't wait, dad.""I love you baby." He was about to leave the room when he turned back around and said, "If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here. And if that's not enough, I'll call in to get you an appointment with someone, a therapist or counselor." Alan didn't know what he was saying, he was just trying to help. In no world did he believe that this would happen to his daughter, to anyone he knew. He was wrong.Samantha nodded. "Thank you. I love you too."Alan closed the door and sighed. Part of him felt like a bad father, a bad person, for letting his daughter walk right into something so serious. He felt like he failed. The worst thing that could happen to her did, and there was no way that he could take that back. The worst thoughts he had ever had crossed his mind. The image of her on that bridge made Alan shake in fear and anger for her and himself. Because of him, part of her was gone, and there was nothing he could do. He knew that no amount of her attempting to explain to him what happened would do her any good, just remind her what happened. He knew he failed her. He wasn't sure if she'd ever trust him again. He was just trying to be a good dad, a "yes-dad", a cool dad.This, he thought as he opened up the door to his bedroom, was definitely not cool.Alan wandered into his room where Samuel was sitting cross legged on the bed with his nose in a thick book."Hey, stranger." Alan said, closing the door behind him."Oh, hello. I was wondering when you were going to show up." Samuel said. He took the corner of the page that he was on and flipped in inwards, making Alan cringe. Samuel set his book down on the nightstand next to him. Alan could faintly see the small indent where he had folded the page.He looked at Samuel who was awkwardly sitting, wondering if this was too weird or if he should sleep somewhere else. Alan was alright with it, but he had no way of reading the stranger's mind, the stranger that was in his bed. This hadn't happened since he had a drunken one night stand with some guy when he was twenty-three. This was different, though, because this stranger was someone who he soberly wanted to be there."Is this," he paused, motioning towards the bed with his hands. "Is this okay? Like, do I need to sleep downstairs or something?" He pointed at the door with his thumb and scrunched his nose.He shook his head. "It's fine with me," he told Alan. "As long as I don't get ax murdered or smothered in my sleep, it should be okay."Alan smiled and hesitantly approached the bed, changing his mind and pretending he was initially walking towards the dresser, which he mindlessly dug through until he realized he probably looked like a fool."Well, Samuel," He sighed. "Get comfy. I have a story.""What's up?" Samuel unfolded his legs and stood up out of the bed to adjust the covers and slid himself in. He yawned and looked over at him at him. Alan exhaled and approached the bed, taking off his glasses and rubbed the corners of his eyes. He creased his eyebrows and scratched his five o'clock shadow that had grown within the last few days of not having time to shave, which was mostly gray, to his demise."It's about that little blonde girl that is staying around here.""Oh, yeah, Jackie. What about her?""It's about her brother, that boy Samantha got attacked by." Alan cringed. He didn't want to think about it, but as her father, he knew he had to. He hated thinking about what he could have done to her. Or even what he did."Oh, no." Samuel had a worried look on his face. He crossed his arms and leaned back onto the bed frame, glancing over at the wall for an instant and then back at Alan."Jonathan did the exact same thing to Jackie, except twice as bad, as I've been told, and frankly, I trust my sources." He spat out. Samuel didn't say anything at first, and as an immediate reaction to the silence, Alan ran his hands through his graying hair and then back down, smacking his thighs and shaking his head. This was a tick that he has always had, when he's stressed, it was always one of the first things he'd do. His mother used to tell him that the reason he had gray hair was because he always ran his fingers through it."I can't believe how awful some people are. What are you going to do?" Samuel finally said after a minor moment of watching Alan think.Alan shook his head and quietly said to him, "I'm going to get her out of there." Samuel kept staring at him, waiting for more clarification on the previous statement. He didn't say anything else, instead walking towards the bed, crawling in, and leaning over and flipped off the light.