"I just want to take my baby home" lia cried.
I hated that she felt like this was her fault. I stood up my from my chair and walked over to her. I picked up her hand while sitting on the side of the bed. "Soon baby" I whispered to her before she scooted closer to me.
I pulled her in and she wrapped her legs around me. She laid her head down on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waste and held her.
About 15 minutes went by and I could tell she was starting to fall asleep, so I shifted myself so that I could lay her down. I pulled the blanket over her small body and kissed her goodnight.
She was exhausted. But I don't blame her, these last couple hours have been hell. But she did it perfectly.
I walked over to the makeshift bed I had for the night. But I couldn't sleep. So I decided to go for a walk down the halls of the busy hospital. My stomach was in knots.
Walking through this hospital brought everything back. After the accident I spent a lot of time here.
Lia held my hand as we slowly walked down the empty halls. While I worked on gaining my strength back.
My mind was racing.
Why does life seem so unfair lately? So heavy.
Lia and I are so young. Yet we're dealing with things that no other teenager should.
But if there was anybody I would want to go through this with, it's lia.
I walked past the NICU where my baby girl was. I stood in the glass window and watched as the doctors worked on the small babies.
My heart fell to my stomach as I saw my baby hooked up to many different machines. She's so small. She doesn't deserve this.
I watched through the windows as my baby was cared for. But before I knew it tears were rolling down my face.
I sat down on the bench and rubbed the tears off of my face. I buried my face in my hands. Until I felt a figure sit next to me.
I automatically knew who it was. I looked up to see Ethan with his arm around me.
"Any updates" he quietly says.
I lightly shake my head as I let out a deep breathe.
"It'll be ok gray. She's stronger than you think" he tries to assure me.
We both stand up and watch in the glass.
"She's literally the perfect mix of you and Lia" Ethan says as he watches her.
She really is. She has my nose, but lias eyes. She has my lips, but lias hair.
She was tiny.
////
*lias pov*
It was the morning after the birth and my body was in so much pain. I could barely sleep.
I sat up in my bed to see Grayson rolled up in a ball asleep on the bed/couch. He looked so peaceful but I knew he was stressing more then anything. I hated seeing him so worried.
But he's truly my rock. The entire time he was making sure I was ok. He was so worried about me.
I slowly shifted my legs to the side of the bed to stand up. Everything hurt.
I slowly placed my feet on the cold hospital floor. As I put pressure on my feet I wanted to cry in pain.
But I made my way to the bathroom.
I turned the light on and shut the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I can't believe I'm a mom.
I lifted up my shirt and looked at my body. My first thought
was gross. I hated the way I looked.
I tried to shake it off before turning on the shower. But there was a slight knock on the door. I opened the door, Grayson was standing in the doorway.
"Sorry baby did I wake you" without a reply he leaned down and softly kissed my lips.
"How you feelin" he asks.
His morning voice was my favorite.
I smiled at his messy hair and tired face. "Ok, just really sore" I reply
He lightly wrapped his arms around me. "You look beautiful" he whispers.
After everything his words still make me melt.
After my shower I applied a small amount of makeup and let my hair dry into its natural wave.
The doctor came in and did a final check. "Lia you're doing great. Continue to take things slow so you can fully heal"
"As for the baby, she's gonna spend some time here. But we're hoping to make great progress in the next few weeks."
"Weeks..?" Grayson quietly said disappointed.
The doctor explained that she needed to be 100% able to eat on her own, she needed to breathe consistently and needed some extra nourishment.
Not being able to take our baby home was possibly one of the worst feelings.
Life has felt non stop for the last year. Like it's been one thing after another. I don't understand why we can't just have this one. Why this can't just go our way. But I guess life isn't always what you want.
After talking with the doctor he told us we would be able to have a few minutes with her before leaving the hospital.
Lia and I sat down on the bed as the doctor brought her in. Her small body laid quietly as she slept.
Her little hands were curled up next to her face. She looked so peaceful.
She was perfect. No matter the issues going on. She was so perfect.
We both took turns holding her.
We still hadn't named her. We wanted it to be perfect. We talked about so many names but nothing seemed to be right.
Minutes went by and the doctor came back.
I kissed her forehead and held her hand. Her tiny fingers wrapped themselves around my thumb.
Lia giggled as tears filled her eyes. I wiped her tears with my other hand.
"It's ok baby, she's gonna get better. And then we can all be a family at home"
I tried my best to assure lia that it would be ok.
No matter how hard life gets, no matter how many trials and obstacles are thrown our way, we always end up ok.
We're gonna be ok.
As long as we have eachother.
We'll be ok.
///
End of chapter.
Hey guys! Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Life was been really heavy lately. I wanted each of you to know that you are loved. I know it may not feel like it sometimes but you have a place and a purpose on this earth. Please, please don't feel like you're better off gone. There's a reason you are here. Tomorrow is always a new day. New experiences, new opportunities. So please, just give it another day. And be patient for the good. Because it will come. It hurts watching good people leave. So please be strong, for yourselves. For the people that care for you. I'm always here if anyone needs it. And thank you for being patient.
Anyway.. comment you're baby name guesses tehe !
