My Best Mistake [#1][#WATTYS2016][COMPLETE]

two*

© 2014 Emma Norman. All Rights Reserved.

[chloe]

"You're pregnant?" Jodie proclaimed as we walked into school together but, if she had said those words any louder, then there would be people overseas who would now know of my pregnancy.

"Did you want to say that any louder?" I didn't miss the disapproving looks which people gave to me as I walked past them, nor the manner in which they looked down upon me as though they were better than me, which I knew that they weren't because at least two of them has cheated on their boyfriends' multiple times while drunk, high or a mixture of both. Though I did hope that they didn't hear Jodie shouting about my baby because, if they did, then the entire school would know about it by the end of the day.

"Sorry. I just never thought that you would be the one to get pregnant. You are, after all, supposed to be the good girl," Jodie replied and, if it had been anyone else who spoke those words to me, then I would have slapped them right there and then, but she was my best friend and that meant she got away with more than the average person did.

I wish I knew why people felt the need to term me as the good girl though, and what the need to place a label on me was actually all about. Just because I always did my work, always got above a B and had never slept with anyone—until the night I ended up conceiving the child I was now carrying—didn't give people the right to label me as they pleased.

"Who's the father?" Abigail finally spoke up, clearly having recovered from the shock of discovering that I was pregnant, though I never had been as close to her as I had been to Jodie. Abi and I never really had the same connection which Jodie and I did, she was more of a friend than she was a best friend, but I stuck with her because she was friends with Jodie.

"It doesn't matter. I don't even know whether I want to keep it or not," I know that I should feel bad for wanting to end the life of my child, and there was some semblance of guilt within me, but it was the for the best. I hadn't even finished school and I could barely even look after myself right now, so I was never going to be able to cope with a child, and it was never going to have a great life with me.

"You can't kill it without even telling the father, Clo," Jodie shouted angrily.

"Trust me, I don't need to tell him to know that he'll agree with me," I chuckled humourlessly. I knew that he wouldn't want the child, he didn't know how to keep hold of a girlfriend for longer than three days, so he wasn't going to want to be tied down with a child when he wasn't even mature enough to keep hold of a relationship.

"This isn't a laughing matter. This is your child we're talking about here," Jodie was quick to snap. She had always been the one who valued life and wanted to protect any living thing she could, but she just needed to accept that, at times, there were people who couldn't be saved.

"If I tell him, then he would never even accept it. He would call me a liar, tell everyone that I am some sort of easy slut, and want nothing to do with the baby. I don't want to be dealing with that right now and I already know that I would never cope with the life of a single parent," I argued back.

"At least we know there is one person it isn't," I didn't miss the look in Abigail's eye when she looked at me and, despite claiming to be my friend, I knew that she was judging me and forming her opinions of me, even though she would never truly understand the situation which I had found myself in.

"Who's that then?" I asked.

"Braydon."

"How—"

"Does he know that you cheated on him? Slept with another man while you claim to be in love with him?" Abi shouted, catching the attention of the people around us, most of them stopping as staring as they realised I wasn't the girl they always thought me to be. Some even laughed at me, probably at the thought of me actually having slept with a male, and not being as innocent as they all thought me to be.

"No. It was a drunken mistake which led the creation of a mistake," I knew that it wasn't the right thing to do, but I didn't want to risk what I had with Braydon for the sake of something which should never have happened. I had been with Braydon for eleven months now and, while most people had doubted us and told us that we would never work, we had managed to prove them wrong thus far and I was happy with him.

"Oh, and that makes it acceptable. How silly of me not to realise that," Abi didn't hide the sarcasm and it was now that I regretted my decision to tell them that I was pregnant because, no matter how close the both of them were, they were both acting like I expected everyone else to act if they were to discover the truth.

"I thought you were my friends and that you wouldn't judge me, hence why I told you the truth. I should have known that you were just like the rest of them and that you would judge me," I didn't want a lecture and, if I had wanted a lecture about what I did and how to live with the consequences, then I would have told my parents last night rather than lying to them about what I had told Jason before joining them for dinner.

"Getting pregnant is one thing, but getting pregnant after a drunken night out and cheating on your boyfriend is another," Abi had her hand on her hips and she was jutting slightly to the side, a look disdain on her face as she made her feelings known.

"Matthew Jenkinson," I knew that nothing I said was going to make this any better than it was, so I may as well just bite the bullet and tell them the truth because, if they were going to hate me, then knowing who had gotten me pregnant wasn't going to change their minds on how they now felt.

"What?" Jodie questioned.

"Matthew Jenkinson. That's who I slept with. That's who the father of this baby is," I whispered with tears in my eyes and, at the thought of getting an abortion, the guilt seemed to grow stronger and there was a small voice in the back of my mind telling me that, no matter how hard I thought it was, abortion wasn't the right answer and there was always other options I could take.

"Matthew Jenkinson? As in Player of the Year dating Lydia White, Matthew Jenkinson?" Jodie gaped in shock.

"They're not dating. They're more fuck buddies than anything else because Jenkinson can't keep it in his pants for longer than five minutes," I shrugged and, while people may confuse my thoughts with jealousy, I was as far away from jealous as a person could get. Matthew and Lydia were perfect for each other because neither of them knew how to be committed and both of them thought that they were better than everyone else.

"Why did you sle—"

"Alcohol. I was drunk. He was drunk. It just happened," I was done with Abi's constant questioning and I hoped that, from the sharp tone I used, that she got the message and left me the hell alone.

"When?" Jodie asked as I made the decision to actually begin walking again because, the sooner we reached the room where our first lesson would be held, the sooner I would stop getting the third degree from those who were supposed to be my friends.

"About two months' ago. I can't really remember."

"So you don't even know how far gone you are for certain?" Jodie raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"No, Jods. I am going to find out tonight because I have an appointment with the nurse."

"You are aware that, if you are too far along, then you won't be able to conceal your lie by murdering it?" Abi pointed out, but I was out of energy to fight with her and I couldn't be bothered with the effort of replying to her. I was tired of the argument now and I only wanted to slap her until she shut the hell up, and until she stopped judging me; making me feel worse than I already did.

"Someone to hold my hand? Thanks," I had never been happier to see the door which led to my Math class than I was in that moment but, if it meant that I could escape this grilling and leave the judgemental eyes of my supposed friends, then Math would forever be my best friend.