My Best Mistake [#1][#WATTYS2016][COMPLETE]

twenty-one (i)

{UNEDITED}

        I woke up to the sound of machines and muffled voices of people who were all crowding around me. As I opened my eyes, everything blurred in one huge white mess of things, I wasn’t sure what was happening or why it was happening. I wasn’t even sure where I was or why I was here.

        “Matthew?” I just about managed to say. I couldn’t see him anywhere and I needed to know that he was there.

        “Chloe. You’re awake,” he sounded so relieved that I was awake and I didn’t understand why he was so concerned about me. I felt his hand wrap itself around mine, I never realised before just how much bigger than mine it actually was.

        “What happened?” I asked as I saw someone come over to me and begin poking me with things before writing something on a piece of paper and then checking the machines which were surrounding me.

        “You collapsed,” Matthew replied.

        “I what?”

        “Ah, Miss Parker, it’s good to see you awake. You gave us a bit of scare there,” a doctor said from the bottom of my bed with a smile on his face. He took the piece of paper which the nurse had just written on, quickly scanning over whatever had been written on there. I wanted to ask, but then I wasn’t sure whether I would like the answer, so I decided just to leave it.

        “We were at Braydon’s place and you just collapsed,” Matthew said and I could tell that he was scared, I had actually scared him and he had spent the time at my side worrying about me. He actually stayed to make sure I was okay and there was something sweet about that. He didn’t have to do that, but he did, and I couldn’t feel internal happiness. “He’s waiting outside. He wanted to see you, but you were still out for the count. I can tell him to leave if you want?”

        “No. I want to see him,” I sighed. I didn’t want to see him so that he could apologise to me and neither did I wanted to see him so that he could be sure I was fine. I wanted to see him to tell him to stay the hell away from me and never bother speaking to me again.

        We may have had something once but it was pointless fighting for something the other person didn’t want. He didn’t listen to me, instead he just assumed I was liar and refused to accept any side of the story besides the one my father had already told him. I was an idiot to think that he could get over what I did and just move on with everything, he was never really going to be able to accept that I did because it was always going to be at the back of his mind.

        I couldn’t live with someone like that. He was too unpredictable and there was a whole side to him I had never seen before, it actually frightened me to know he could so easily punch someone in the way that he punched Matthew. I didn’t want someone like that in my life, especially when I was bringing a child into that life too.

        “I’ll just go and get him,” Matthew smiled, giving my hand a quick squeeze before he walked out of the room.

        “Why did I collapse?” I asked the doctor once there was no one else around. I looked at him and at no one else as he put my notes back at the end of my bed.

        “You were under a serious amount of pressure which led to an elevated blood pressure level. You almost lost the baby and, if your boyfriend hadn’t been there for you, then you probably would have lost your daughter,” the doctor said and I could feel the tears silently rolling down my cheeks. The thought of losing my daughter wasn’t one I even wanted to entertain, I would never be able to forgive myself if I lost the baby and I would always blame myself for allowing it to happen. “We are going to keep you in for a couple of days, just to make sure everything really is back to normal, then you need to go home and rest. Another episode like this and your daughter might not be so lucky.”