Journal of Experiences: A moment in our lives

May 11, 2019

Dear companion,

Today I'm tired but happy. It's my grandmother's birthday and tomorrow is Mother's day. You know that I love travels and to see my family, don't you? Of course, I have always said that my family is big and amazing. So, this year made ten years that my grandfather died, it was on May 9, 2009. And my mother, aunts and uncles have planned to celebrate this together. In all, they are ten: four daughters and six sons, each one lives in a different city and because of this it's very difficult to bring them all together. Me and my sister, who we're very emotional, didn't to want to stay out of this.

Yesterday, I took a flight at Santos Dumont airport, connecting to Brasília and arrived in Teresina at the crack of dawn ─ I spent six hours traveling, in total. I slept there, and later on I took a car to my grandma's city, three hours extra of travel (Jesus Christ, my family live in Far Far Away also called Pedro II). When we finally arrived in my grandma's house we had lunch and took a rest. So, only now I got it to write here, but it's ok because I'm enjoying my family.

And today happened my grandma's birthday party, with a lunch, cake and a honor due to her 80 years old. Everything was beautiful and I felt so much grateful. But it isn't about this story that I want to speak, it is about relationships. Throughout my life I romanticized my maternal family (I used to talk that they were my favorite relatives). However, to see the world with child's eyes (everybody is cool and without faults, you know?) it is different than we growing up. In this time, I've been observing, e.g., my spoiled brat cousin who is 7 years old and his parents doing nothing about it, some aunts who seem to do distinction between the "rich" brother and "poor" brother, like a toady, my "bolsominion" uncle... Humph!

I have felt a little bit uncomfortable and, thinking about this, I got it understanding some characteristics of my mom with empathy. She is the oldest daughter, hence she needed to help taking care of her brothers and sisters from an early age. Demands were done to her and I know that this has affected her childhood, teenagehood, behavior and personality. Big families are great but the relationships are complex.

Tomorrow it is my last day of travel already. At morning, I will go to church with my mother and we'll visit the graveyard ─ where my grandfather was buried. Later on, all of us will go to Serra spend the mother's day, to the house where my relatives were born and grew up. It'll have much meaning for me because I have never spend this date with my grandma and aunts, besides my mom, the last time that happened this was ten years ago.

Finally, it's being a travel filled of reflections, also fun and love. And I will return to Rio missing them as always.

Love, Cá.