Purgatory - a transgender adoption story

Trust Issues and Tears

As Tyler, Josh, and I walked back into the orphanage, I could feel all eyes on me. Eyes from Maddie, Lina, even Mrs. Leo. Everyone was suprised that I came back both alive and with a couple willing to adopt me right then and there. But I coward under their gazes, afraid that any wrong move would send me right back to down where I started: depressed and alone.

I knew it would take a bit before I was actually allowed to leave with Josh and Tyler. They'd probably have to grab me tomorrow or the next day since there was so much paperwork they had to do, but I was willing to wait as long as I'd be out of here. What I wasn't too sure I could outlast was Maddie and Lina's glares and imminent torment, not when they'd try to make my last day here hell. As I passed the pair of bullies, they were already enacting their plan of torture.

"Hey there, Evelyn," Maddie said loud enough that I was sure Tyler and Josh would hear, "I heard those boys plan on bringing you home so soon. What'd you do? Fuck them both?" Lina laughed at that, her laugh sounding almost like a donkey. I cringed.

"What? We're sure you did. Why else would they want you. You're just some weird tranny." Lina added to Maddie's mean comment. I looked around looking off to where Josh and Tyler were sitting in the front area. They were looking right at me and the two girls. Great. I turned my back to both my new dads and the girls tormenting me, running upstairs to my room and slamming the door.

They really had to pull that shit, didn't they. Now Tyler and Josh think that I'm just a confused little girl, just some girl who's orphaned and unlovable. Unlovable. I couldn't bare the thought of being unlovable. Sure, most people were disgusted by my mere presence as a trans person, but there had to be someone out there to love me.

Then, a knock brought me back from my racing thoughts. "Go away, Leo. I don't wanna talk about it. If you're gonna talk to someone, talk to the transphobic bitches downstairs." I said through the door from my curled up position on my bed.

While I was expecting Leo's sigh from the other side of door, I got a pair of laughs. "Sorry, Kiddo, but it's us, not Mrs. Leo."  Tyler's voice came through the door.

"Oh, uh, sorry."

"Nah, it's alright. Can we come in?"

"I guess so."

It took them a second, but soon enough I had Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph sitting with me on my bed talking to me through my tears.

Josh talked first "Listen, Adam, we already knew. Mrs. Leo told Tyler when he was checking you out earlier. It doesn't change how we think of you at all."

"Yeah, Kiddo. We'll still love you whether you're LGBT or not. Now, as for those girls, you don't have to listen to them." Tyler rested a hand on my shoulder "We are going to make you our son, and you'll be able to do whatever you need to do to be comfortable in your body. Those girls won't change any of that."

I tried to smile, but my words still came out choked, "You don't get it do you? Couples always come in here, promising things they don't care to keep. Even if you're being sincere it doesn't matter, I can't find it in me to trust you. My own mother threw me out on the streets because I couldn't stand to live in my own body. I've been in foster homes and hellish care facilities, and I'm... I'm..." I stopped, my tears taking over as I break down into heart wrenching sobs.

Tyler wrapped his arms around my body, letting me curled into him and cry on his shoulder. Josh rubbed my back and said something about going to try to finish as much of the paperwork as he could to get me out her as soon as possible, allowing me some time with Tyler to calm myself.

"Adam, we'll make it OK." He whispered to me, "you don't have to trust us right away, but we'll try to give you the best life you can. I promise. I won't hurt you. I never will."

"Thank you" I whisper back though my tears "Thank you for giving me a chance"