We fell in love in a hopeless place.

chapter one hundred- goodbye

Remember the little hapiness i felt yesterday? It all got away in the morning. I realize that i'm unhappy, i hate myself and everthing in my life. But the thing i realize the most is that the only problem was me. Because maybe if i didn't exist maybe everyone would be happier. If i didnt exist, my friends would be happy together,jaeden and jack would have the great friendship they had, hailey would be happier to have a better best friend than me, jaeden would be with lilia still,my parents would still be together, everthing would be so much better. 

I couldn't deal with everthing that what was happening but i know i had to do something,something i should have done a long time ago, leave and start a new life. this could fix everthing,it didnt had me in the plan so everthing would be better.

I wrote a letter to everyone ,yeah i could have just texted them but i like to do it in the old way.

Dear Hailey,
Wow we know each other basically our whole life. I never had a best friend like you. Remember that day i was walking alone at school,i had no friends but you came to me and asked me if i wanted to be your friend and i said yes,it was the best thing that could ever happend. Im forever thankful for everthing you have brought into my life, you are amazing. I hope you find someone who loves you,because you deserve every single bit of hapiness. I know im doing whats the best for everyone,even if its hard. Promise me you will always love yourself no matter what, dont let anyone hurt you. I love you forever and always.

Dear mary,
The way we met was so weird but i'm so so thankful it happend. You are always there for me and thats one of the things i most apreciate about you. You have a kind heart and you are really amazing. I loved being friends with you and i wont ever forget you. Thank you for everthing, please take care of yourself and the others. I trust you

Dear Lilia,
I never thought i would be friends with you. The first time i saw you i was like wow she is the prettiest person ever and she is so cool she wouldn't want be friends with me but guess i was wrong because i love you more than anything. You make me smile even if i am having a bad day, i tell you things i wouldn't tell anyone, its gonna be so hard to live without you but i know you will move on. so never forget,keep being the sweetest girl i know and dont ever look back,do what your heart tells you to do. I love you

Dear Jaeden,
i'm sorry for everthing. you didnt deserve it. most of all,im sorry that i came into your life,i know you would be happier without me so thats what i'm doing. You were the light of my life, you made me feel safe for the first time in my life,like someone actually loved me and cared about me. your hugs,your stupid jokes, the nights we spend together just joking and having fun..were the best days of my entire life. You were the best thing of my life. I just want to thank you for being the best thing that has ever happend to me,you made me happier than everyone else. I know i'm a mess and all was a mess because of me but right now that we are siblings i just can't handle it? its not just that.. maybe i could never be a good girlfriend or even a good sister to you so it's better like this. again,Im sorry. I love you so much

Dear Jack,
Thank you for understading me,after all you were a great friend. You made me happy with your stupid jokes and  you didnt even care if someone would  laugh at you about it. I wish i could have done things different.. I wish i could have done this a long time ago. Look..jaeden is a great person and so are you! Go talk with him please, you guys have an amazing friendship ,dont let me take that away from you. I trust in you so much jack,so i know you will do everthing that its the best for everyone,so do this for everyone hapiness, tell them you have to live without me. You were the first person i liked, so no i wont forget about you. I'm sorry. I love you

Dear mom,
I love you so so much please don't hate me for this. I dont want to live without you but you have jaeden,he is amazing and he will be the amazing kid you always wanted. i'm going to live with dad, I know you will not understand what im doing but just please trust me, i am doing whats right. Mom,you are perfect ,you deserve love and hapiness. You deserve to be with jaeden's dad,its way more important than my feelings. So please take care of jaeden like its your own son,because right now he is. I will always be your little daughter you know that.. i will miss your hugs more than anything.

I packed everthing that i needed and no one even would notice i left ,my mom was at work and jaeden was sleeping.  I send the letters to everyone and went to the bus. Guess this is a goodbye.