Where The Light Doesn't Reach

13.

I'm not sure how long I've been laying here, but my parents haven't returned. I have no idea where they are, and honestly, I don't care.

They left me.

I opened up to them, just a little bit, and they hurt me and left.

How could they?

I always knew how little they cared about my feelings, and yet I still can't help but be surprised that they didn't even try to listen... they didn't want to.

What's the point in opening my mouth if none of my words mean anything? What's the point in living if I'm just going to be stuck under this roof for the rest of my life with people that don't care? Although I guess they might kick me out before long, so I might not have to worry about that. I doubt I'll survive, I can barely handle life now.

Maybe... I should just die.
I wouldn't have to worry about anything if I did.

I'm considering it again.

But before my thoughts go any further - or I act on them - I hear someone call out from downstairs.

"Hello? Carter?"

My heart freezes as I recognize who it is, my fingers twitching slightly from where they lie on the ground. I'm still on the floor, the wounded side of my face now swollen and throbbing in time to my heartbeat. A stinging pain shoots through the flesh of my cheek whenever I move my mouth, the skin stretching and pulling at the crude claw marks from my mother's long nails, the blood dry and cracking. I hiss at the unpleasant feeling, giving up on trying to move my aching, weak body. I'm both physically and mentally exhausted, no strength left to do anything at all.

Footsteps are storming up the stairs as I hear my bedroom door open down the hall, only to be quickly shut as the person continues to my parent's bedroom, the shadow of his feet visible under the door. I don't know why he's checking over here since most people would assume I'd left and the house was empty. I almost wish that he'd leave, that way my weakness stays hidden from anybody but me.

Don't open the door—

My silent wish goes unheard as the boy pushes it open with a soft creak, wary of what could be waiting behind it. I immediately close my eyes, letting out a shaky sigh.

"Oh my God— what the hell? Shit—"

The boy crosses the room until he reaches me, dropping to his knees at my side. Although I can't see, I hear him moving to touch me before rethinking it and moving back.

"Carter— Fuck, what happened—?"

I sigh slowly, not wanting to look at the boy with grey eyes. I know that if I do, I'll only see pity and concern in them, a face holding too many questions, ones I'm not willing to answer.

I don't want him to see me like this.

"Go—Go away." I croak out, my cheek flaring with a horrible burning pain from moving my jaw.

I hear Gray scoff in disbelief.

"Go away? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

Surprised by his tone of voice, I crack my eyes open to look up at him, finally seeing that he looks angry.

I swallow thickly as fear starts to creep down my spine - nothing good ever comes when someone is angry with me.

"N-no," I say shakily, cautiously, "I mean it— go away—"

My limbs hurt, my head hurts, my cheek - oh my god it's fucking killing me - so I can barely move as I watch him throw his hands up in the air in exasperation.