What If

22. Houdini

Home of Michael Preston
3:35pm Sunday July 18th
San Francisco

I tried to focus as I got out of the yellow cab. My head has been pounding since I left the hospital. It didn't help that Sean's words keep ringing in my head:

"I care about you, Lydia. You, mean something to me."

I was still upset that he paid for my hospital stay, but on the other hand, what choice did he have? Considering the strong bond that we've made since we first met, if the roles were reversed, I would have done the same thing. In a heartbeat.

After he stormed out of the room I did some thinking of my own. Before I could deal with Sean and our complicated situation, I needed to face my brother. The thought of doing that, after all this time, scared the hell out of me. Seeing him in person brought back some of those old feelings.

I refused to allow myself to let him make me feel that way again. So, I made the brave decision to go and confront. Although, it probably wasn't smart to leave with this head injury.

Sean is probably looking for me right now, I thought. I really didn't want him to worry about me. But first things first...

I held my breath as I looked at the brown and white house in front of me on Maple Street. It wasn't too hard to find my brother; he was listed.

On the way over here I tried to think about what I would say to him. Old thoughts and memories blew through my mind and I still came up blank.

I don't know where the courage came from, but I found myself taking the step towards his long driveway leading to his brown wooden front door.

I took another deep breath as I lifted my hand and knocked three times. I heard shuffling around on the other side of the door as I wrapped my arms around myself, and shifted back and forth on my feet.

When he finally opened the door, his expression went from surprise to anger. "What the hell are you doing here?" He barked at me.

"I think this confrontation is long overdue. Don't you, Michael?" I was surprised at how strong my voice sounded, considering how scared I was.

Before he could answer me, I asked the question I've been asking myself for almost two decades. "Why did you guys leave me in that hospital? You, Alex, and mom left me there!"

"Life wasn't easy for me and Alex either. They beat us, too. They left us to fend for ourselves; just like you." He ran his hands through his brown hair. "That night, mom told us that they were going to keep you at a mental health clinic or something. We didn't find out until later."

That seemed to just piss me off more. "So, what? You just accepted that she supposedly shipped me off somewhere? You never tried to call me or find me."

His voice started giving away his emotions. "We thought she was lying! She told us that in a drug haze. Then two weeks later, Alex and I were taken away and dropped into foster care. We were kids too, Lydia! She was so upset about dad and--"

"WHAT?! Are you fucking kidding me?" Before I could stop it, the dam holding back my tears burst wide open. "That sick bastard deserves to rot in hell! He almost killed our mother that night. Or what about the multiple times he snuck into my bedroom and assaulted me!" I couldn't take it anymore. I turned away from him and started to leave.

I ignored him as he yelled after me to come back. The tears made my vision blurry and I tried to run. I barely made it five feet when I ran into something hard.

As two arms held onto me, I heard that familiar baritone that seemed to soothe me. "Lydia? Are you okay?"

I couldn't control my emotions and my head was pounding from my injury. "Get me out of here," I begged Sean.