What If

36. Two Shots

I held back my tears when James ended the call with Sean. Each time I heard his voice, it was like a knife to the heart. There was so much I wanted to say to him. Just in case. There were also things I shouldn't have said to him. Like when I asked him if he promised to bring me home. If this ended badly, I didn't want that on his conscious.

I know how he handled losing his parents. I know him, too. He already felt guilty; I could hear it in his voice. None of this was his fault. You can't control the actions of other people. The only people to blame for this are the ones standing in front of me currently arguing.

"I want to be there when you meet," Amy said for the tenth time.

James seemed to be losing his patience. "Listen to me, you CRAZY bitch. You will stay with the girl until it's done."

I knew why he wanted to keep her away from the meet. He was planning to kill Sean and Amy had no idea. I would have spilled his secret except he put duck tape over my mouth.

Amy crossed her arms over her chest. "Im coming with, or I blow the lid on this whole thing."

"You are threatening me? Don't forget who helped you escape jail."

She held his stare and seemed unafraid. She really was insane. The man was holding a fucking gun right now. Finger on the trigger. I wanted to warn Sean on the phone, but James was holding the gun to my head at the time. The only comfort I had was knowing Sean was smart enough to know it was a trap. He had to.

"Fine. You'll wait with the girl in the van so you can watch." He rubbed the back of his head. "That might actually work in our favor. He may want to see her in person before the exchange.

"Agreed," she said before looking at me.

"You don't deserve him. Whore."

Good thing I couldn't speak right now. I would have probably said something that would have gotten me killed. I really hate this CRAZY bitch.

She and James left through the side door and I was alone now. My mind went to Sean and everything that's happened since we met. The night that I met him on that bridge, I was ready to end all of the pain in my life. I never thought I would get to a point where I actually accepted who I was. I never thought I would understand that what happened in my childhood wasn't my fault. I absolutely never expected to fall in love with anyone in my life. Not to mention, have them love me back for who I was.

Like everyone else, we both had our faults. I thought about what he said that night on the beach.

"Lydia, what if there's a reason I was on the bridge that night?"

His question surprised me and made me feels things I didn't understand. Trying to keep it light, I said, "There was. You were running from PSYCHO Amy."

He chuckled at that. "Yeah, I was. But that just proves my point. I was supposed to go to the Hamptons that weekend. Instead, I decided to go to Atlantic City." He smiled at me before he added, "Then I met this beautiful, stubborn, funny brunette on that bridge."

"You forgot crazy," I said quietly.

"You aren't crazy, Lydia. You've had a hard life. Harder than most, in my opinion, and you didn't deserve that. But, you're still here. You're strong. A survivor."

"I-I don't know what to say," I replied.

I didn't know what to say to him that night. Before a few days ago, I never thought of myself as strong, let alone a survivor. But after the confrontation with my brother, then my father, I started to believe Sean's words.