So this is going to be really quick but I just wanted to say my life has been a bit hectic recently and I'm struggling with some of my feelings and I'm doing research as to what love really is and as to what it feels like and no its not the constant butterflies in your stomach at this point that to me is just puppy love which is the only love that I know of I guess and I think I'm getting closer to my answer but I don't want it honestly because I think I can actually fix my relationship and this time the right way but I know it'll take a lot of time and effort for it and I'm willing to do it I just need a bit more time to figure it out as to what my next move really is weather I can take a break or talk it out with him and try to explain our situation I know I can fix this I know I can find what love actually is I know I can Find what love is really like past the puppy love and the past manipulation and the sex from past relationship that I've had. If this relationship still doesn't work out then I'll still be okay in the end and I'll still have him in my life and maybe when we're both better at this whole love thing there's always a second chance and if not then it'll be on me. I have to go to work so there might be a part 2 when I get home.
