r/Writingprompts

Written May 8, 2018

[WP] "You're gonna die." "No u." It was at that point the robber felt a mysterious force warping his hand, pointing his gun at himself.

Defying all laws of physics, the gun instantaneously flipped positions and shot a hole straight through the poor robber's cranium; brain matter splattered the wall with beautiful blotches of cherry red.

"What the fuck mann"

"Whadafak is this"

Joe Porter repeated again and again, his plain clothes soaking up in sweat. But the rest of the people in the bank carried on as usual, which was very unusual considering the fact that there was a dead body with its brains blown out slumped on the floor. Since Porter was the perpetrator of this heinous crime he dashed out the window and ran as far as his legs could carry him.

Seeing nobody on his trail Porter stopped to catch his breath as he had been running for a good hour or so. He decided to reflect on the murder he had committed with words, the memory of his high school English teacher preaching of the power of words came to his mind.

"Wait I can control reality with my words"

"Shit man, I'm God"

"Lemme get a Starbucks then"

Since he proclaimed his godhood travelling by foot or car was way too old-fashioned, he decided to travel to Starbucks in a great gold chariot driven by ducks the size of horses. And so he went off in the grandest way any God would ever go.

Porter got down from his golden chariot and strolled through the entrance of his local Starbucks, casually swinging open the doors, he was greeted by an angry Barista and an angrier crowd.

"Sorry we don't serve Greek Gods here" he snickered.

With incredible suave and a casual flick of his wrist he pointed at the man and said.

"I'm no Greek God, my name's Joe."

"Joe?"

"Joe Mama"

He was looking at the Barista who sported a terrified expression, of course anyone would be, knowing that they had swapped places with another person. It was now Porter who stood behind the counter and the Barista who had just walked in. Dressed in a brown apron with the radiant glow of the green logo of Starbucks, Porter stood; hands in his pockets and a posture as if leaning on an invisible pillar he effortlessly lifted his hand and pointed at the Barista.

"Sorry we don't serve Greek Gods here" he shot at the hapless Barista.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the plain-clothed Barista screamed as he was flung out the glass window by an invisible force.

"My powers are amazing..." He muttered to himself, looking at his hands.

"Hellloooo, can I get a pumpkin spice latte?" A blonde haired girl motioned to him with an irritated expression.

"Yeah sure" Porter waved his hands and willed into existence a pumpkin spice latte in prime condition and sipped it menacingly

"What the fu--"

"Sorry we don't serve Greek Gods here."

And so the woman was flung out too.

"Man my powers are amazing"

And so, Porter went on to become God Emperor Po, ruler of everything there was and everything there ever will be.