r/Writingprompts

Written June 16, 2018

[WP] Whenever someone is about to kick another person's ass, their very own badass theme song plays out of thin air. While walking down an empty street, a fighting song you don't recognize is getting louder behind you. In response, your fighting song starts playing as well.

I'm one of those who bought the premium pack.

So along with my own badass theme song I can pull of slow-mo finisher moves, how cool is that? Sometimes the pleasures of life just have to be paid for. But having a badass theme song isn't always great if you're getting your ass beat to your own track and I learnt that the hard way.

It was one of those hot summer days when everything is just... lazy and a sloth would've outwalked me at the speed I was walking, it was just that kind of a summer day. All of a sudden I hear a theme song I've never heard before and it got louder and louder with each passing second which was scary, because I was the only person on that damned sidewalk at the time.

Eventually a little kid popped out from an alley I had no idea existed, every inch of him was meant to flex. Gucci glasses, slate grey Yeezys, a Gucci chain and even a Gucci sweater! This kid almost made me jump out of my own skin.

"Kid, where're your parents? Are you lost?" I stammered, "And why're you wearing a sweater in this heat?"

"Fight me"

"Huh?"

"Fight me"

It was common courtesy to accept a fight and I just couldn't refuse this because I felt bad for the kid. Alright, I thought, I'll go easy on him.

Round 1 a voice boomed from the skies

Fight!

In the time it took for me to blink,

He ran over and uppercut me in my nuts.

His gleeful face and my fading 'battle' theme ironically playing were the last things my fading senses picked up. After God knows how long I woke up lying on a hospital bed and instinctively looked at the point of impact. Nothing too dire, that was a relief. But can't believe I lost to a kid without showing my amazing slow-mo moves.

"Mr. Joestar you have a guest visiting you, may I let him in?"

"Yeah sure, let him in"

I heard the door creak open and a now familiar battle theme started to play

Round 2 a voice boomed.

"Oh no what the fuck"

Fight!