The Journey Of A Lifetime

Chapter 6: Carpathia

JOE

I never closed my eyes from the moment when we left Eddie till well after the ship sank. But even then I didn't see any point in closing them. And since dusk had become dawn once again. I really didn't think it was worth closing them now . As we drew closer to the Carpathia. I could hear an officer calling out instructions.

Our lifeboat was the first onto the Carpathia , once I was out of the boat I only realised how cold I actually was. I was frozen. I couldn't feel my toes. Actually I couldn't feel anything at all.

"Joe let us go inside. And warm up shall we?"

I nodded. I didn't care. My brother was most likely dead. I was numb from my crown all the way to the tips of my toes. I was shocked, I wanted to think, this was all a horrible nightmare. That everything was alright. That I would wake up in the morning on the Titanic and everything and everyone would be safe. But I knew it could not be so. Whether I liked it or not Eddie was most likely gone....gone forever. I could feel the tears burning at my eyes. I couldn't look at the sea anymore without feeling like I was going to vomit. I was beginning to cry. Beginning the stages of grief. All I thought was that I am going inside.

*MADDIE'S POV*

I looked to Joe. He was crying again, Who could blame him? I mean in the space of three month he has lost his, Mother, Father and most probable his brother too. Eddie..... Oh Eddie! I began to cry but quickly wiped tears away. I took Joe to the nearest bench inside which Mrs. Astor was sitting . I looked at her and she looked back sympathetically.

"Here you go and sit here Joe. I'll go fetch a hot cocoa for you and a coffee for me. So we can warm up eh?" My voice faltered. He nodded and I went to a crew member and came back with a coffee and hot cocoa. Mrs. Astor already had hers.

"Here you are Joe."

"Thank you Maddie." He sniffled. I noticed that he was shivering form both the cold and shock so I took my coat off and draped it over him.

"I'm going to go outside and see if there is anyone I can help." I lied. Yes I was indeed I was going to go outside but I wasn't going to help I was going to cry. I couldn't let Joe see me cry. I had to stay strong for him and for Eddie. I turned to Mrs. Astor and she gave me a knowing nod. And I walked outside. I finally deemed it a right time to let the tears flow freely.

I didn't have a clue where I was going or what I was going to do. I just let my feet take the lead. They lead me to the bow. But just in time to watch the last few lifeboats be hauled upwards.  I couldn't bare it. I didn't want to believe it. But what was the use of fooling myself it would only lead to more and more heartbreak.  I just had to accept that  Eddie was gone.

"Help! I cannot find  my child! " I heard a woman scream.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'll help you look for your child Miss." I say "Let us not give up yet. How many boats are left to be picked up?"

"1."

"Well lets look somewhere else on the ship and come back once the last boat has been picked up." I say dragging her away. We searched high and low for this woman's child.  We eventually find the child. The boy was in the hospital wing.

"Thank you Miss..."

"McCoy, Madeline McCoy."

"Miss. McCoy I thank you for helping me find my son."

"You're welcome. I'm sure anybody would do the same. Now if you don't mind I will excuse myself to go talk with my fiance's little brother." I said trying to sound happy. Well at least as happy as I can considering I have just lost my fiance.

Oh Eddie.....Eddie.....Eddie why did you have to die?

Once I was back outside the North Atlantic air hit my face. Sour as a lemon and bitter as salt. My tear rimmed eyes stung.  I found seat and sat down allowing the tears to come down. I looked up occasionally and the first face I saw was Jack Thayer's. I could tell just by first glance that he had been in the water. I knew then that if they were pulling up people from the water the chances of Eddie surviving were extremely slim.  As another person who had been in the water was helped aboard the Carpathia all hope that Eddie was still alive had been diminished. Diminished like a flame.  The last person I remember seeing was much to my annoyance. Mr. Ismay.

Because of Mr. Ismay's absurd longing to beat the Cunard line in absolutely everything the maiden voyage of Titanic had gone wrong. It was due to him I had lost my fiance. It was due to him that Joe.....that Joe had lost his brother. My blood boiled at seeing him. I was no longer comfortable with breathing the same air as him.

I looked past him and saw a familiar figure. The figure looked at me and yelled.

"Maddie! Maddie!"  the voice was so familiar. I wanted it to be Eddie but part of me couldn't see the hope.  The voice called again

"Maddie......"

*Joe's POV*

I'm sitting here next to Mrs. Astor who still didn't know if Mr. Astor had survived or not. But I just sat there with some Hot Cocoa the steward had pushed another cup into my hands to drink. Which I do. It warms me. But while it warms my body temperature I still feel numb inside.  Am I going to be grieving again? No! I can't not yet. Eddie has got to be alive.  I refuse to believe that he's gone. No! He's not!  I want to scream and shout but deep down in my heart I know he is dead. Hardly anyone could've survived the waters.  I look up and see Maddie. Someone is behind her.

"Joe, Come here." she said her voice faltering. I nod. She pulls me in a hug and I can't stifle anymore tears. I start to sob again. I can feel her tears as she cries into my hair. But I feel a hand on my shoulder. I tense.

"It's okay buddy.  I know how you feel." the voice is so familiar. I've heard this voice my whole life. But it can not be Eddie, Can it? The hand doesn't move. I begrudgingly turn my head to go tell the owner of the hand and voice to buzz off. But I stop. It's Eddie!

"Eddie?" I croak

"It's me kiddo."  He smiled. I pull him into the largest hug my 9 year old self could muster.

"D-d-d-d-d-don't.......L-l-l-l-l-l-l-leave.......M-m-m-m-m-me....... A----again" I sob into his coat.

"Don't worry Joe I'm right here." Eddie said