Darkstache (Wilford X Darkiplier Oneshots)

"My head hurts,"

Third POV

Ring Ring Ri-
Dark picks up the phone with an exasperated sigh.
"Wil, it's 3 in the morn-"
"Cannn I get a ri-de home?"
Warfstache slurs tiredly.

Dark raises his eyerbrow in confusion and exhaustion.
"Are you drunk?"
"No-! Well... O-only a 'lil bit..."
Wil giggles drunkenly; Darkiplier facepalms, asking his friend why he can't take a taxi instead.

"Because I needs to talk to y-ou! A-nd I... I accidentally killed the taxi driverrr!"

"Wait- how do you accidentally kill someone?"
"He looked... Saaad... So I tried to tickle him with my knife... And then he just died! It was so rude!"
He complains in a whiny tone, making Dark laugh.

"Alright, alright, I'll pick you up. Where are you?"
"I'm outside the... uh... those big shops..? What're the grown-up shops called?"
"Supermarket?"
"That's the badger! Sssupermarket!"

Dark hangs up and teleports over to the Supermarket, seeing Wilford slumped over a bench with his head in his hands and eyes clamped shut.
Sure enough, there's a taxi across the road with some... Suspicious red liquid splattered against the window.

"Wil? You okay?"
The familiar ear-splitting that follows Dark's presence makes Wil look up happily.

"Daaark! Long time no see, ya 'lil scamp!"
He calls out happily, jumping off the bench a little too quickly- he falls flat on the floor and groans in pain, but makes no move to get up.

"Ah shit... Come on buddy, up we go..."
Dark mutters, putting his arms under Wil's and hauling up his drunken friend.

"Ya know, my dear, you're gre-at!"
Wilford yells in a sing-song voice into Dark's ear.

Darkiplier flinches away from the noise, but allows himself a smile anyway.

"You think so?"
"Yeees! I lo-ove you!"
Wil cries happily, swaying unsteadily as Dark tries to get a grip on him to safely teleport him home.

"You do, huh?"
"Yeees!"
"I love you too, Wilford,"
"Horray!"

Wil laughs hysterically as his sober friend teleports them back home.

When they arrive home, Wil wraps his arms around his best friend's waist and buries his face in his neck.
"I looove you..."
"I love you too, Wil, but you have to go to bed now,"
"B-but-"
"No. Bedtime."
"I'm o-only sleeping if you hug me."
Wil demands, and Dark sighs impassively.

"Fine, we can cuddle. Let's go to bed, okay?"
"Okay,"

Dark takes his swaying friend up to his room, laying him on his bed and lying next to him.
He's not used to physical affection like this, so he doesn't know what to do next- until Wil wraps his arms around him and rolls on top of him, nuzzling his face in his neck.

"Good- uh- Goodnight, Wil,"
"Goodnight, my deeear!"
He says, his voice muffled because of his position.

Dark smiles happily, running his hand through his partner's hair and his other hand over his back in comforting circles.

"I love you, Wil,"