I Hate Her | Park Jimin

If I Die...

Your right foot lifted, the ocean's waiting for you down, one step and you'd fall.

If I die...

You bit your lip hesitating.

Fuck it Y/N, no need to hesi-

The edge of the cliff you were standing at collapsed making you fall down the deep ocean.

You hit the ocean who engulf you. Your eyes closed as you go deeper and deeper, your arms move wanting to get back up. You open your eyes as you tried to get back up but you can't, you can't see a thing as it's dark. Bubbles floats out your mouth, something underneath, a strong force pulling you deeper and deeper the ocean.

Your throat tightens as you struggle for oxygen. You tried to push yourself up but it is no use anymore. Your arms got tired  and your body feels heavy, you couldn't do anything anymore and let yourself pulled deeper. Your eyes flutter as you couldn't breath anymore...

If I'm dead, they'll be happy.

Happy?

***

You coughed out water as you regain back to consciousness. Your eyes squinted, vision blurry trying to figure who is in front of you. You closed your tightly trying to remove the water in it. You look around trying to remember where you are.

It's so dark.

"Fuck it Y/N." Your head slowly turn to your left.

Your squinted your eyes again, your vision looking better than before. Droplets of water falling down his hair, shirt soaked, lips gape open and red as he sat there catching his breath.

Why?

Your eye hurt as a salty tear fall off.

You couldn't speak as your throat hurt and feel sandy.

You look away as your tears didn't stop falling.

Why Jimin?

You felt so weak and heavy, you didn't bother to move yourself and just lay down the dirt.

Do I regret it?

I don't know.

"Y/N...I-I'm here. Don't forget that."

I hate it...

You move to your side and slowly sat up, now getting some energy to do it. You didn't bother wiping your tears as you turn to look at him.

"I fucking hate it, you are here because you pity me."

He run a hand on his wet hair and look away.

"Is that what you think?" He look back you, staring right at your eyes.

"Shouldn't you think I'm a brat. Shouldn't you be angry? Shouldn't you hate me?"

He sniff and wipe his nose with his sleeve. Your hand formed into a fist. Biting your lip in anger.

"This girl," You said pointing to yourself. "Has nothing to do, can't do anything right, do everything wrong. Never does a good thing in life, blames herself..."

He didn't speak and just listen to you. You waited ofr him to judge you, but he it never showed he will.

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat.

"She's...nothing. A useless piece of shit. I hate her." He bit his lip. Messing his hair as he stood up.

He lets out a sigh. "Well I don't." He said looking at you with intense gaze.

Your eyes narrows angrily as you look up him. You finally got the energy to stand up.

You wipe your tears harshly.

"Look Jimin, you are a famous asshole, a popular in school, I don't even know if you're just making fun of me...I might hear gossips about me doing succide tomorrow because of you. So fuck off, no one wanted me in this fucking world, no one, not even you." And you walk away.

He pulled your arm and you stare at you with glassy eyes.

"I wanna save yo-"

"What are you? A hero?"

His grip tightens. "Whatever you say Y/N, I will keep on saving you."

I couldn't fucking understand his shit.

You pulled your arm from him and succesfully did. You took a step back keeping a safe distance from him.

"Why just me? You could've save Jisoo. You should've saved her not me!"

Tears started falling hard.

"No one wanted me anymore, my parents looked like they don't even care. And out of all why you? My friend even turned her back on me. Why the fuck you didn't? I don't fucking understand you Jimin?!"

He walks up to you and held your shoulders.

"I know what it felt Y/N! Cause I experienced the same thing as you! We don't want you dead! Think of your dreams! Your future! Look at your family! Look at Lisa! Look at me! You couldn't see us anymore if you leave!" He paused and catch his breath after talking fast.

"How do we keep on loving you when you leave?" He stared deeply at your eyes, a tear fall off his left eye.

"I-I couldn't do this anymore if you leave..." He pulled your arm and tightly hugged you.

"I couldn't feel you anymore if you leave. I wouldn't be able to touch your hair anymore..." His fingers touched your hair. He broke the hug and stared at your eyes.

"I wouldn't be able to touch this cheeks anymore..." His cold hands touched your warm cheeks.

A tear fall off your eye.

He smile at you. "I wouldn't be able to wipe this tears anymore if you leave." His thumb grazed your cheeks as he wipe your tears away.

He look down your hands and pick it up, intertwining with his. "I couldn't take you home if you leave."

You look away feeling embarassed.

Feeling happy and sad at the same time.

Someone had made you felt like somebody, someone made you feel like you're verything, that you aren't useless and someone worth it. That feeling made your heart skip, made you hopeful.

"Let's get back ho-"

"I don't want to." You cut him off.

"Well, my home can be your home too."

He smiled wide assuring you.

Your hand tightens around him.

I wouldn't find someone who cares about me if I drowned.

You gotta stay Y/N. You better.

The end.

💪

draft.