I Hate Her | Park Jimin

CHAPTER ONE

You don't know why you hate her so much. Maybe because she's ugly? Maybe because she's too weak? Maybe because she's not worth living in this place?

You hate her so much that you even put a scratch on her right wrist.

You even thought of killing her. You bit your lip getting angry at her face.

Just die already bitch.

You thought as you stared at your own reflection.

Tears were falling fast and fast. You don't even know what you're feeling right now. You felt happy that you finally put some red marks on your arms, also you felt sad and hurt.

You don't know why you're doing this?

You are living a normal life. No family problem, no financial problem. You don't even have a problem with your lovelife, cause you don't have one, and you don't even have a problem with your friends.

You have a normal life, a beautiful normal life as what you could see.

That's what they see in you outside, but inside, it's a different story.

You roughly wipe the tears from your eyes. You looked away the mirror and sat down the bed. You let out a long shaky breath. You looked down at your work that you did on your wrist.

You smiled. You finally felt relieve the moment you finished putting scratches on your arms. It was like your way of getting revenge on yourself.

You always felt like you're not worth anything. And all you can do is hurt yourself because you felt so guilty as to why you can't do things in exchange the good things that was given to you.

You kept on stressing yourself to get to the top students so you would be able to reward your parents with their hardwork. You did maintain your spot on the honor's list eventhough you're at the last of it, but at least you get there.

You have a very low self-steem. No confidence in everything, your body, in your idea and even in your studies. And that's when doubting yourself starts.

You don't know why you're doing this? Hurting yourself, pitying yourself.

You even do research, the experts says that it's some kind of chemical imbalance, and you believed it, as long as you have reason why you're acting like this, aside for the reasons said earlier, that's what makes you depressed.

You lay down the bed and put on the blanket up to your chest. You hugged your favorite teddy tightly, and that moment you thought that it's the only thing who understands you. No one would ever understand what you're feeling right now, no one.

Your eyelids starts to feel heavy. You were so tired from crying and you just let yourself fall into sleep, were you can forget being depressed temporarily.

~~~~~●●●~~~~~

Your eyes about to drop as you look at the numbers written on the board.

You supported your head with your hand, so it won't fall.

"Hey." Jisoo, your bestfriend whispered at you.

You blinked and rub your eyes to remove your sleepiness.

"What?" You asked her smiling.

"Ten more minutes, bish, hang on." She said and pat your back.

"Yeah." You said and slowly look back down your notes. Your eyes feel like about to fall out of your sockets. You write down om your notes what was writeen on the board. As you kept on writing, your vision starts to get blurry, the strength in your hand writing is about to drop. You bet you'll laugh at your writing later but you didn't cared about it now.

"Hey." Jisoo whispered again. "Don't sleep."

You slowly nodded. Your eyes looking down the paper, imagining your head laying down the soft paper, your head relaxed, and your eyes finally closed.

You can't hold it any longer so you decided to lay down.

Just let me doze off for a minute...

"Okay everyone, let's have a quiz." You slowly look up your eyes still heavy. You rub your eyes and blinked again and again.

"5 minutes to study the lesson I just discussed."

You quickly flip the pages of your notebook to start studying. You smiled at your writing, and showed it to Jisoo.

"Geez, I can't read this." She said laughing.

"Me too." You said as you started reading a word.

You're fully awake as you started memorizing the lesson, not all of it, but just the words that had been underlined.

The quiz started and finished not long after, you got an average score and finally the class ended.

Your teacher dismissed you all before the class bell ring. You pick up your bag and waited for Jisoo to finish fixing her things.

"Let's go." She said and the both of you walk to the cafeteria, where Lisa is waiting.

Jisoo waved at Lisa and she waved back like it's their first time seeing each other.

The two of you bought some food first and sat down your usual table.

"Guys, I have something to tell you." Lisa grin at the two of you excitedly.

"What?" Jisoo asked clearly not interested.

"Me and Jennie are dating." She said smiling wider than ever making her eyes form in a half moon.

"Really?" You smiled, feeling excited too.

You and Lisa had been friends for 3 years, even she's a year younger than you and Jisoo. About Jisoo, you've been friends with her same year as Lisa. She's a straight as what she said, and she acts like one though. Actually, Jisoo and Lisa are the first people who are closed with each other then you came.

Actually in all honesty you kind of feel jealous with Lisa. Why? Causs she's confident with her body and face. She's even confident that she's a gay. And you, you hate yourself so much, you wonder how to love yourself like Lisa did on her own.

You even thought one time that maybe she could help you, give you advice about loving yourself, but you thought again she might just think you're overreacting or won't understand so you just keep all this pain all by yourself.

Anyways, no one can understand you. As what you always said to yourself.

And you haven't told anyone about your suffering, no one.

"That's good." Jisoo said and eat her food.

Lisa rolled her eyes, noticing Jisoo's attitude. "Aren't you happy?" She asked her.

She didn't answered and focused on chewing her food.

"Okay fine, if you don't want to talk, then don't." Lisa crossed her arms.

"What's wrong with you Jisoo?" You asked her not clearly understandinh why she's acting like a vagina.

She wave her hands off and swallowed her food. "I'm fine."

"Really?" Lisa asked not belieiving her.

"Just shut up and-"

You shoved the sandwhiches in their mouths as you broke your own sandwich into three. "Guys, let's eat."

"Let's celebrate for Lisa and Jennie." You said making Jisoo pissed off even more.

Hm... something's fishy going on with Jisoo...

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hey, sorrreeyyy

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