Evangeline Lawrence has a secret. A big secret. One involving her birthday, the player, August Griffin, who's (almost) like a brother to her, and a kiss the night before he ran away. No one else knows about it, aside from August, of course, and Evan...
Lisa is making me write a poem. She caught me with his contact open, my thumb hovering over 'call'. She said she wants me to express how I'm feeling (she's gonna be a great therapist one day). So I guess that what I have to do.
I pull out a lined notebook and start to write.
What do I feel?
I don't know
what I feel
I don't know
what I should feel
I don't know
if I should cry
or if I should stop
I don't know
if I'm mad
or hurt
or going crazy
All I know is that
it's cold,
my body, my heart, my brain
the world
If this is what
heartbreak feels like,
why do people
fall?
I feel better now. Calmer. My head is spinning a bit less, my heart feels lighter. Not light, just lighter. I think I'm going to write another one. Honestly, I would write 20,000 if it made me feel normal again. But what is my 'normal'? Normal changes. Is this going to be my 'normal' now?
I shudder and start to write my second poem.
Home
Where is my home?
I thought I knew.
I thought it was
in your eyes.
What is my home?
I thought I knew.
I thought it was
your love
When is my home?
I thought I knew.
I thought it was
when I was with you.
Why is my home?
I did not know.
I just knew
that it was you.
Tears are welling up in my eyes now but I ignore them as I write my next poem.
What we were
We were...
Pink skies
Bright Lights
of the city at night
People swirling
Subways hurling
Round and round again
Names shouted
Shops crowded
Almost spilling over
Ice cream shops
Park rocks
Looking for a star
We were...
Cries of despair
Hunger here, hunger there
Always wanting more
Haunted looks
Torn-apart books
Nothing to see there
Eyes of the tired
With hands full of wire
The task never fully complete
The tears are wanting to fall down my face but they can't. I can't cry anymore.
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