mixtape '94

every breaking wave

the song for this chapter is:
every breaking wave - U2

[ashton]

I remember that it hurt, looking at her hurt.

She looked broken. You could tell she was trying to hide it.

When I saw that bruise on her eye I knew something was wrong. I did since I first saw her crying at the park. For some reason she wouldn't tell me what was wrong.

What hurt the most was when I saw her scars. I didn't mention them because I knew that it was too personal. What would make her cause pain to herself? She didn't even try to hide them from me.

Now I know why. I know why she is always so depressed and why she causes pain to herself.

She was hurt. Not just emotionally, but physically. I couldn't do anything to help her. I wanted to come in but she closed the window. I saw him beat her and I didn't help her. I could've come in and beat the shit out of him, but I didn't.

When she looked at me, she was ashamed. She didn't want me to see that. I tapped on the window, trying to make her come and let me in to help her. She stood there, looking at me with a blank expression. I could tell she was having an internal conflict, she wasn't sure if she should let me come in again.

We stood there, looking at each other. The only thing that kept us apart was the thin wall of cristal. I couldn't tell for how long we stood there, but I knew it was a long time.

She finally whipped her tears and came closer to the window. She sighed before unlocking the window. I came inside, trying not to make any noise.

I looked at her. She was beautiful. Her pale skin with bruises. Her burnett long hair. Her esmerald eyes, full of tears. Her perfect, but damaged body.

I pulled her closer to me. I hold her delicate arms and wrapped my arms around her body. She rested her forehead against my chest.

"I'm so sorry." I hummed softly.

She didn't look at me. She closed her eyes, I knew there was a gulp in her throat that made her speechless.

"I'm here. He won't hurt you anymore." I whispered in her ear. She hold me even thighter.

We both sat there, holding each other. I would never let her go again. She knew I would protect her, she felt safe.

She finally let go off me. She sat there, unconfident and weak. I took a piece of her hair and put it behind her ear. "You are so beautiful." I couldn't help myself. I've been waiting for so long to tell her how beautiful she was. She cracked a small smile.

"It all started long time ago." She spoke with a shaky voice.
"You don't need to tell me." I tried to smile, trying to comfort her. I didn't want her to suffer.
"I want to." Her voice was low.

"It all started when my mom died." She continued. I couldn't even count how many tragedies had happened to her.

"I wasn't like this, I used to be happy." She sobbed. She was trying not to cry, but it was unstoppable. "She died in a car accident 4 years ago. My dad started drinking after that, he never stopped. They fought everyday anyways."

"I don't know why but he never liked me. He said I was a mistake. They had sex when they were seventeen and my mom got pregnant." I knew were she was going and I didn't like it.

"They had to marry after that. My mom tried everything she could to get rid of me, but somehow I lived. At least that's what he said." Tears were streaming down her face. I looked down, trying to hide the sadness I felt.

"When he said that to me, I felt so worthless. My mom was dead, and my dad hated me. I didn't had any friends at school because they thought I was weird. Everybody seemed to not care about me so I thought, why would I care about them?" She paused. She took a deep breath before speaking.

"You know, people say "destroy yourself and see who gives a fuck" so I kind of tried to, but no one gave a fuck." She said with a slippery tone. I was suddenly afraid. Did she just said she tried to kill herself? It hurt me to look at her.

She blanky starred at the floor. I wasn't sure of what to do or say. She slowly looked up at me, unsure of what to do.

"I'm so sorry." That seemed to be the only thing I could say. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. Then, I thought about something.

"This is not your fault Sam, don't ever listen to him again. You are not worthless. You worth more than you think. You are worth to me." Those words came out of my mouth without thinking. I actually mean it. She was worth it.

"We all have shit in out lives, but we can deal with it. We can deal with it together." I came closer to her, pulling her to my arms.

"We will deal with it." I moved my hands down to her hips, leaning closer. I didn't hesitate before connecting our lips, giving her a slow, gentle kiss.

She didn't pushed me away, at the contrary she pulled me in, placing her hands on my hair. She let me show her how much I cared about her.

And when she pulled me away to breathe, we sat there all night long. Talking about music.

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aw ashton u are such a cutie

and no they didnt had sex they just kissed okay that'll be later