Comment as you read! I love seeing your reactions :D
"No baby this is not an illusion
I've really got my heart on my sleeve
Oh baby, this is not an illusion
There's magic between you and me"
-One Direction, Illusion
Leah flicked the camera off and I fell onto the haybale, sighing heavily. She came to sit next to me, her movements still tentative. "You alright?"
I threw my arm over my eyes. "Do you want to get Tess for me?"
Leah stood up and disappeared as I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as my own words swirled around my head. I pictured Evan's face, Jackson's proud expression, my dad looking down at me, then took another breath to try and calm my racing heart. When I heard footsteps approaching the haybale, I took another breath before fingers laced with mine, moving my arm off of my eyes. I opened them and Tessa was looking down at me, eyes soft but tinged with concern. "You okay, Walter?" she asked quietly.
Leah quietly stepped forwards, handing her iPhone, which I assumed was open to the video. I shifted, my head falling in Tessa's lap, and she absentmindedly ran her fingers through my hair as she looked down at me. "Can I watch it here? Or do I need headphones?"
I reached up silently and pressed play, closing my eyes as my own voice rang out through the oddly silent barn. The horses were all out, considering it was a nice night, and we were the only ones there, the only sounds my recorded voice and Tessa's steady breathing.
"Is it on?" I asked. "Yea? Alright."
I took a deep breath. "So, hey guys. Its Shane...obviously. Sorry, that was dumb. I'm nervous. Um, okay. I've got something I really need to say, and I'm really hoping that you guys don't hate me so much you won't listen to this."
I knew without looking at the screen that I had hung my head, running my fingers nervously through my hair. Tessa stiffened, her hand ceasing it's movement, and I felt my heartbeat picking up again as I sighed heavily in the video.
"I'm sorry, guys." I admitted, my voice dropping to barely above a whisper. "And I know this is way too late, and my only reason is a horrible excuse, but it's all I've got.
"For those of you who don't know, my dad died a few months back. We were on our way to one of our shows back home in Toronto when a tree fell on top of the car. Dad died, and my brother, Jackson, lost his leg in the accident, and I guess I lost my mind. For the past few months, I've been awful to everyone because I was so wrapped up in my own problems. I ignored fans, refused to take pictures or sign things, wouldn't talk to anyone except to tell them to leave..."
I scrubbed my hands vigorously over my face, fighting back the burning tears. "I was horrible. I hated everything, and I didn't care how I was making other people feel if I was in a mood, which was constantly. I didn't care about anything, not my music or anything else, and how the fans were reacting to my drinking every night wasn't a big deal to me. Drinking until I passed out every night just became a habit because it was the only thing that could make me forget that if I hadn't asked Dad to come to the concert, he'd still be alive. I had convinced myself that it was my fault, and I just didn't care about anybody else because I felt so miserable all the time."
I paused, then took a deep breath and continued. "For the past month, I've been staying with a family that didn't know me before, but took me in anyways. I'd probably be dead right now, honestly, if it wasn't for their daughter. I would be, actually. She didn't put up with any of my bullsh*t - still doesn't, actually. If I treated her like crap, she didn't put up with it, and I'm pretty sure we hated each other until a few weeks ago. She...well, I guess she saved my life."
YOU ARE READING
Crazier
Teen Fiction"No matter how hard they try, they will never know me. Why can't they see that?" As Jackson's health rapidly deteriorates, so does his brother's happiness. Only a few months earlier, Shane Walter was on top of the world...literally. His band, Skylin...