Hate & love

Chapter 38

She turned around, and quikly back around. I knew how she felt. I felt it before, I understood the relief of nothing being there, then realization of what actually was happening.

I knew my expression seemed smug, but it was more from my fear, of showing fear.

The last thing I needed was belief of fear. That would just shatter hope. And I need hope at this time.

I  just presumed she was used to this, she seemed to know what to do. I still felt she had taken this the wrong way, somehow.

I put my attention back on the mysterious vision. Since she opened her mouth to speak.

Her too familiar voice rung.

"Why did you forget? Stop dreaming! Join the real world! Why don't you?"

I didn't speak, I didnt need to. The smug  expression faded, it went blank. It broke.

I wanted to scream, but my vocals refused, even my lungs tried to resist oxygen. I craved them both deeply. I felt exhausted.

I just fixed my  blank expression,  with a crook at my neck. An odd angle, and it felt puncturing on the side that stuck out.

Neither of us said a word. I stared with lifeless eyes.

I started walking off, but it felt like I had no control on my motions.

I had no choice.

She tried talking. Her voice was faint, inaudible, almost. I ignored it, I didn't care.

I kept walking until I got over to my room.

No longer caring, for anyone, anything. But why would I?

No one genuinely cares about me.

This thought caused me to have a wry smile play on my lips. I opened the door and slammed it close.

We are not a good time. I am not going on with the same answers to the foreign policy of my imagination.

"What does that mean?"

That we can't take the policy of imagination.

"Still confused. What's the policy of imagination?"

We'll get our way. We are your imagination

"I just want to know what you're talking about."

You'll know

"When?"

Soon...

"Is it bad?"

Do you think?

"I really don't know. Why don't you ever actually answer me?"

That's none of your business.

"Um...yes it is."

How?

"Because your talking about me...and you are me? And uhh..."

Exactly!

I bit at my lip, and pulled at the delicate skin, feeling it rip off. A metallic taste invading my mouth.

I don't understand. I couldn't feel it. It was like it never happened. Like my nerves all stopped.

But then stung, but it wasn't something I'd call pain, more like pleasure, I felt normal.

Everyone can feel pain, just about. So I just felt like a had something in common with the norm. Although, I did not.

It wasn't the most pain I felt, I've never actually thought about the actual sensation of your nerves going off.

It wasn't distressing, it was relieving,  actually. It was my escape.

But from reality, I always leave. From my reality, this was my escape. It felt like I was actually in control for once. Not the others in this world.

In my world.