Hate & love

Chapter 13

"How do feel. You know about your mom's death?" The lady at the orphanage asked me.

"I don't really know. It's just that my mom, I don't think she cares about me." I had some genuine tears rolling down my face. Not from my mom's death, but my dad's.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because my dad died 9 years ago, and at that time I went through some depression, as did she, and I don't know I think something happened. She started hitting me when I had breakdowns. You know? When I hear my dad's voice. But it wasn't him being nice. He was making fun of me. I still hear it." I completely broke down in  tears. My eyes got red and puffy. "She'd hit me, over and over again. I started hallucinating.  It was so realistic. I couldnt tell the difference of real and pretend. My mom got mad when I'd see things when I heard voices. There started being more voices. Almost all cruel. Except one. It was of someone I know. He's the only one who knew about my mom. Nobody would believe our stories."

She took it all in.

"Why not?"

"Because we both are... schizophrenic." I whispered the last word.

"Huh I can't hear you."

"Schizophrenic!" I screamed it.

Her eyes grew wide. She backed away from me. I didn't notice I was biting my lip until the skin broke and the blood filled my mouth. She called someone out.

They were whispering and I was crying and screaming.

You see everyone knows your insane. Just tell them you killed your mother. Either way you're getting locked up. Nobody loves you, they're scared of you. JUST KILL YOURSELF!

"SHUT UP!" I was banging my fists on the wall. "You're cruel. I hate you. Why me. Why did you do this to me. Please just go. My sobs grew louder with every sentence.  My hatred too.

"KILL ME!" I was speaking to the people staring at me, which was everyone. Their eyes filled with horror. Some fled. Others rushed to me, and tried getting me to calm down.

I almost had a heart attack. I saw my mom by me holding the knife we killed her with.

"Eeehhk, do you see her?" I was crying. Someone, who was evil, laughed at me.

All the people looked at him like he was the worst person ever. I agreed with them.

"What do you see?" Someone asked me.

"My mom. But she killed herself." I clenched my eyes shut.

No i didn't. You killed me.

I had a new voice in my head now.

"Please leave me alone." They all backed up.

They left me hear in a mental breakdown. I got up and went to the front door. I didn't leave I just stared out at all the happy people.

How I envy them.

I went back to the place I was sitting. Some people came over to me and tried to get me talk.

I wouldn't.

But finally when I did I said. "Please just kill me."