Open to possibilities pt. 2

Chapter 22

Amelia POV

We landed about an hour ago and Shay and I managed to get out quickly from the airport. Meredith picked us up and drove us to the hospital the fastest she could. Shay was again terrified by the entire situation and even more terrified by the idea of possibly not seeing her dad again.
"Mer, tell me Maggie is updating you..." I start
"Amelia...I know as much as you know"
"Mer,you can't lie to me" I say becoming even more serious
"I know that you are worried but Maggie is great,she will do her very best to help him".
Once at the hospital I text Link "arrived at the hospital. How are my kids? Are you alive after managing all six of them?"
"Just put everyone on their seats. Heading home. How is Shay?"
"Worried but I am too, Meredith is acting really weird and she is freaking me out. I'll go up to the gallery"
"Keep me posted. Love you"

Now it's time for me to find out some news. That is what Shay needs the most now: informations,because they are the only wait to fight fear.
Hopping up to the gallery,my heart sank at the sight: Maggie is cursing over an open chest with a non beating heart. Opening the interphone "MAGGIE! HOW CAN I HELP?" I'm screaming from the gallery
"SHUT THE HELL UP,AMELIA!" She answers "go away from that gallery" she orders me
"Not going anywhere! Do you want me to call some other surgeons to help you...tell me what you need"
"I need silence,Amelia...I'm trying desperately to get him back but he is bleeding copiously,sutures are not holding up anymore. I tried everything: platelets,coagulation factors via IV...I think he is gone"
"He is not,Maggie" I say on the edge of tears "he is not until I say so" I say heading down to the scrubbing room to take action.

Jason didn't make it. Shay is screaming in pain between my arms and I'm crying too: I know this pain too well.
How are we going to manage this thing? Will she want to stay with us or memories are too much for her?
"Honey" I whisper to her "I'm not going to tell you not to cry because the pain you are feeling now is the biggest one...but I want you to do so while remembering all the good things you did together. He is now with your mom,smiling down at their beautiful,smart and talented sweet girl" and at this words she buries her face into my chest even more "I'm alone...completely alone"
"You are not,Shay...we are here for you,if you want even for the rest of your life" I say trying to comfort her and I mean it. I've felt this instant connection with her since the beginning and I wouldn't mind trying to parent her if this is what she wants.

Five days later
Shay is trying to manage the pain while living with us. She is now sleeping in Bella's bedroom because Bella didn't want her to be alone in the guest room.
"Mom...how can I make her feel better?" Leo asks me suddenly. Looking at him,I take his beautiful face in my hands "hold her...if she wants to cry,if she wants to laugh,if she wants to stay in silence" and he nods softly
"Mom...in these past few days I can't take out of my mind the fact that not that long ago we were in a similar situation...I can't imagine how empty she is feeling now" and I instantly understand what he is saying.
"Leo,I'm here...we are fine"
"I know mom" he says hugging me "but that day I'd seen what desperation looks like in dad's tears. I had to try to calm the twins down while looking at Bella saying that she wouldn't have survived that. I was...scared. Scared of not seeing you again, scared of not hearing your voice again. Uncle Owen tried to tell us that you were fighting to help Tommy and that made me angry,for a second, with you because how can a person decide to risk their life for an unborn baby?"
"Leo...I'm sorry I scared you" I say kissing his cheek "but...I would do it over and over again because this is what a mom does and it's not just for her unborn baby...it's for every single one of her kids,for the rest of her life... which means that I would give my life for you,if necessary."
Rising his hands he says "girls...I don't understand them" and he makes me burst into laughs "you will, my love, you will".

Midnight
Link is at the hospital for his night shift and I'm in my bed wide awake lulling my little Tommy to sleep.
All of a sudden,Bella rushes into my room "MOOOM! Wake up! Shay is not okay" And throwing myself down the bed, I run to their bedroom to find her curled in bed crying desperately
"Honey...what is going on?" I ask her reaching for her hand
"I miss him...and I want my mom...I can't sleep because I think too much" she whispers
"Okay Shay,come with me" I say  guiding her to my bedroom "you will sleep with me,tonight..you are safe"
"Amelia...I am not a baby anymore" she protests
"This doesn't mean you are a baby...sometimes you just need a mom's hug" I say holding her close "sssssh,sleep Shay...I'm not letting you go".
I've spent the night awake to be sure she was okay. This is what a mother does and surprisingly,I see Shay like a part of the family already.
Link comes into our room and looks at me surprised "what is going on?"
"She was crying...she needed a mom" I explain
"She is lucky to have found you" he smiles at me
"We are lucky too" I say back "I think we've just became parents again" I whisper and while I'm saying these words he lays down next to me holding me against his chest "I love you,Amelia Shepherd".