Motherhood?

Deciding

Lev sat down against the wall with Ruby "I'm going ring Jan and tell her I can't go back in and see if she will take Harmony for a little while, me and you and going to talk about this and about exactly what you want to do" he said she nodded "I think Harmony should be here" she said he nodded "I think that's a good idea" he smiled kissing her head "ready to face outside the bathroom?" He asked she nodded and he stood up helping her up. They walked out and Harmony hugged Ruby "you scared me" she said "I'm sorry sweetheart" she said "it's okay mummy. It's okay, I know that I'm not yours and this baby is..." she started Ruby went to interrupt but Harmony stopped her "I overheard you, but that's okay mummy it's okay that I'm not yours because you've given me no less than that baby will get and I know it" she said Ruby nodded bending down and hugging Harmony "I love you" she said "I love you too" she said Ruby held her tightly. "I think it would be kind of cool to have another kid to play with" she smiled Ruby smiled "how about we go and see if nanny Jan will take you for a couple of hours so me and Daddy can talk?" She asked she nodded and they walked downstairs "I'll take her Jan said yes I've already texted her" he said Ruby nodded and wiped her face "go on go and clean yourself up" he said she nodded and kissed his lips before he left. When Lev got back Ruby was in the kitchen making a coffee "it's for you don't panic" she said he smiled and she picked up her glass of water "I'll go and buy some decaf later?" He smiled she nodded they sat down on the sofa and Ruby cuddled into Levs side "I'm sorry" he said "for what?" She asked "well you didn't do it on your own did you" he smiled she let out a little smile "it's my fault..." she said "no" he interrupted "No Lev it actually is my fault" she said "why?" He asked "I took the pill really late a couple of times I thought it wouldn't matter just those 2 or 3 but clearly it did" she said tears in her eyes. Ruby really wasn't much of a cryer but she just couldn't help it she felt so stupid. "Well it doesn't matter who's fault it is. It's done now you've got to decide what you want to do" he said "what's the right thing to do Lev?" She asked "you need to do what you feel is right, that's the right thing" he said "but what is the right thing? Giving up a baby, my baby? Aborting it, killing it Lev? Or keeping it, keeping a baby that I'm so unsure about" she cried "but weren't you so unsure about Harmony?" He asked "I was unsure about being a mum now I'm unsure about having a baby that's going to be loved differently to her" she said "and I love my job Lev I don't want to leave my job not for over a year again" she cried "you don't have to, I'll take maternity leave if that helps you" he said she didn't know what to say, she just nodded "okay" she said he smiled "what are you thinking?" He asked sitting back with her she just nodded "it's a mistake I've got to deal with isn't it" she said looking up at him he nodded "okay, okay" she said "we're going to be alright" she said he nodded and hugged her "me and you, were always alright, we always find a way" he said she nodded and he just held her close.