safety// z.malik

xxx. 2am

I wake up in the middle of the night, with a hard, strange feeling of pressure on my chest. Zayn's arm is strewn across my stomach. I wiggle out from underneath him, earning a groan from his lips. I slip into his bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror for a second, before sipping a glass of water. I bury myself in the covers again, feeling the same way I did before I took my bathrom trip.

"Zayn," I whisper, feeling tears prick my eyes.

"Babe, you okay?" Zayn asks, his hzael eyes opening briefly. "You're cryin'." Zayn frowns, wiping a tear from my cheek.

I nod, as Zayn pulls me closer.

"What's wrong, angel?"

"I dunno. I just feel really shitty. I feel like I don't deserve you, or us. I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I feel like-"

"Sh, babe. Get dressed. We're going for a walk."

"At two in the morning?"

"At two in the morning."

Zayn hands me one of his sweaters, as I pull on my yoga pants. His fingers lace with mine easily, to lead me out of his flat. The dark of the night would normally scare me, but with Zayn beside me, I feel protected. We walk down the sidewalk, the streetlights illuminating our path at this early hour.

"What's bothering you, babe?" Zayn sighs, after a couple minutes of walking.

"I just feel like nobody really needs me. Like, everyone's better than I am, and it's too easy to take advantage of me and leave."

"That's such a lie," he frowns.

"In fifteen years, you'll realize you don't need me."

"I do need you, more than you know."

"One day, you'll leave, and realize that I was just a deadweight."

"Angel, do not say that," he demands. "You are way more to me than a deadweight."

"But-"

"No, you mean the world to me. You know that. I tell you time and time again how in love with you I am."

"Zayn," I sigh.

"If I told you that, what would you say to me?"

"Well, I'd say that I love you forever and always, and that everything you're saying is a lie."

"Point proven," he grins.

"God damn, Zayn," I sigh.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Move in with me?"

"What? No, I can't."

"Of course, you can."

"No, really, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to leave Louis to fend for himself."

"Louis was doing fine before, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I mutter.

"Exactly. We spend most of our time together, anyway."

"But living together changes everything."

"It doesn't have to, okay, babe? Whatever happens, we will work it out. I believe in us."

"Zayn-"

"Babe, don't argue with me, please. We'll talk to Louis, and we'll go from there."

I let out a long breath of frustration, knowing that Zayn has already won this argument. He reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers gently.