Obsession

Chapter 40

I've been mentally preparing myself for this all morning, but the second we pull into the driveway, my heart drops to the pit of my stomach. I look up at the home that I shared with my mom all of my life. It was always so warm, so cozy, so welcoming. She always kept it looking so neat.

The last night I spent with her here, we shared the same bed. She was comforting me; something she did so well. She made me feel safe, secure, at home. I never worried about anything because I was lucky enough to have one of those mom's that always planned ahead, always thought about the little things. She never failed me with her advice. She was so wise. I trusted her so much.

She was so beautiful, so strong, so smart and funny. Everyone loved her and she loved everyone. The world was a better place because of her.

But Kai took her away from us.

I get out of the car and slowly make my way to the door as dozens of patrol cars pull up to secure the area. It's been two weeks since I last saw Kai, and since then, he's seemed to drop off the face of the earth. Still, my dad wasn't willing to take any chances. We're packing up everything my mom and I have ever owned and putting our family home up for sale.

I would love more than anything to keep it, but I can't live here without being reminded of her every single day. I can't live next door to Kai's parents without holding some kind of grudge. I just can't be here. No matter how bad I want to.

"Are you ready?" dad asks, looking over at me.

I blow out a breath and nod as we start for the front porch. Anna and Leo get out of Daryl's police cruiser and meet us at the door. I can tell neither of them know what to say to me. I wish Rue were here. She'd understand how I'm feeling. She once had to pack up her mom's things and relive the nightmare of losing her all over again.

I unlock the door and lead us inside. I stop and look around, trying to remember everything just as it looks right now, the way she left it. I want to keep every last thing in here, but I know I can't. I know there's some things of hers I'll eventually have to part with.

I walk into her bedroom first, knowing this will be the hardest room to go through. Everything in here belongs to her. It even still smells like her despite the fact that she hasn't been here in weeks. My heart is racing, the way it has been all morning. I feel I may be sick. I take a deep breath and force myself together. I go for her closet first, pulling out her clothes.

I start off laying them across the bed in a neat pile, but eventually, I begin to yank stuff out and toss them around, getting angry that I'm even having to do this. She should be here. She should be with me right now. I shouldn't have to say goodbye to her forever.

Forever.

I sink to the floor and finally let the tears I've been holding back take over. Leo steps into the doorway and frowns before rushing to my side. He pulls me into his lap and holds me, not saying a word.

He's been so good to me. My mom would've loved him so much.

And that thought makes me cry even harder.

Leo brushes his fingers through my hair and gently rocks us back and forth. After my relentless sobbing begins to subside, he looks down at me and smiles. "Why don't you tell me about her while you do this. I know it's been hard for you to talk about her, but maybe it will help. You should keep her memory alive. Tell me everything you can remember about her."

He manages to make me smile. I can't believe how incredibly amazing he is. I take a deep breath and sit up, taking one of her fluffy beige sweaters off the floor. I hold it up and my mind goes back the last time she wore it. It was just after Christmas. When she hugged me, I remember the fabric being the softest thing I'd ever felt.