Obsession

Chapter 41

I sit in class and stare at Kai's empty seat, wondering where he is. My life returned to normal a few weeks ago; as normal as it can be anyway. I started back to class, hanging out with my friends, doing the things a twenty-two year old girl should be doing.

I should really be paying attention right now, but it's so hard to keep my mind straight these days. Kai still hasn't been found and until he is, I'm always going to worry if he'll take someone else I love from me. That's why I've been holding them all a little closer; my dad, Leo, Anna, Rue; they mean the world to me. I can't lose someone else. I can't. I won't.

I often lie in bed at night and think about what I'm going to do the next time I see Kai. I don't care if it's weeks, months or even years from now; he's gonna pay for what he did to my mom and Rue.

"Hello? Earth to Mara?" Rue says, waving her hand in my face.

I snap out of my daydreaming and look over at her. "Oh, sorry."

I quickly stand and gather her things for her while she situates her crutches. "I'm so ready to get this thing off my leg," she groans.

"Only two more weeks," I smile.

She smiles back, but it fades as she studies my eyes. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"You always have that guilty look in your eyes when you look at me. What happened wasn't your fault. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

I sigh and look down, following behind her to the exit. "I'm sorry. I just can't help it. If I'd never..."

When we make it to the door, Rue stops and turns around. "He was obsessed with you long before it happened. You had no way of knowing just how psycho he truly was. He is to blame for everything that happened. He is. Do you have any idea how angry Beth would be with you if she knew how badly you've been beating yourself up over this?"

At the mention of my mom's name, my eyes fill with tears and my bottom lip begins to wobble.

"No, no, no," Rue says, quickly. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize," I say, forcing a small smile. "You're right. She wouldn't want me to blame myself. She'd want me to be strong. Not give up..."

I'm suddenly reminded of my duet with Leo that I have given up on. My mom was so excited that I was willing to put myself out there and try something new, with someone new. I haven't been in the mood to dance lately, but maybe I should start back up? It's one thing that always makes me feel closer to my mom.

"What?" Rue asks, watching me closely.

I blink a couple of times and smile. "I need to find Leo."

Rue and I slowly make our way into the cafeteria and spot Anna sitting at our usual table alone. Leo is usually here by now too. I pull out my phone and send him a text to see where he's at.

I grab some food for both me and Rue and we join Anna at the table. She's studying her phone intently, not even aware of our presence.

"Well, hello. Good to see you too," Rue says sarcastically.

She finally looks up. "Oh, hey."

She looks back down at her phone and continues to ignore us. Rue and I share a look.

"Where's Leo?" I ask.

"Who?" Anna asks.

"Who?" Rue repeats. "Who are you texting that's more important than your friends?"