Laughter Is The Best Medicine

121-130

121. 3am phone call...

"Hey are you sleeping?"

.....

"No I’m skydiving"...

122. The early bird might get the worm...

But the second mouse gets the cheese.

123. Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going up to a prostitute for a hug.

124. I hope that life is a joke because I don’t get it!

125. When people ask me "Why are you so weird?" I never know what to say

But then I realized why would I be like THIS when I could be like TTTTTTTHHHHHHIIIIIIISSSSSSS??

126. TEENAGERS

Tired of being harassed by your parents?

ACT NOW!!!

Move out, get a job, and pay your own way, while you still know everything!

127. When you really, really want to slap someone do it... Just make sure you say "Mosquito!" when you do.

128. The shit you hear about me might be true...

But yet again it might be as fake as the bitch who told you.

129. 

I gave up 

Drinking

Smoking

Having Sex

and it was the worst 15 minutes of my LIFE!!!!!

130. "Warning! Private property. Keep Out!!

Unless you have really big boobs!"