~The God of Chaos!~ -Noragami x reader-

Chapter 37

The car ride back to our city was long and quiet, although those combinations are usually great for me, this was agonizing. I could feel Yukine and Hiyori's intense, fearful stares in the back of my head.

"Would you stop staring at me?" I demand rather than ask.

I had broken the soundless car ride with my voice, it was stiff, and monotone, with a tint of annoyance.

Yato hadn't seen my face while I was looking up, so before they could see it, I had covered it with my spared bandages.

I glance at Yato's worried look, he stared down. Seemingly endless thoughts surrounded him, I knew I had to tell him, but how?

I looked away before I could be caught staring. I decided to look at Hiyori and Yukine. Yukine seemed worried, while Hiyori look upset, disappointed, as well as a tiny bit of fear.

How could I sense their emotions? This fucking annoying eye.

It was utterly useless for me to have it, it would come in handy for my jobs, but other than that I can't even look at the emotions of gods, their emotions are a lot more complex.

At least to the phantom's eye.

Hiyori and Yukine's judgemental eyes steered clear of me. I felt out of place, but I didn't care too much. As long as Yato would forgive me and it seems like he isn't too disturbed.

If that's the case, why do I have an aching feeling in my heart everytime I think of Kofuku, Daikoku, Hiyori and Yukine and Tenshi's disappointed stares?

I hadn't even noticed the ends of my lips turn downward into a frown.

I sigh softly, the air comming in from the open wind shield hits my face and brushed against my skin. The cold, heavy air tangled my H/c hair into knots, not that I cared.

The silence, it felt agonizing, yet relaxing. I wanted to sleep, and voluntarily have a nightmare. I felt as if I wouldn't mind. I had wondered where Sada, my blessed regalia was.

His look of worry filled my blank head, the look of care his eyes held made the weights on my back multiply by two. Guild crawled through my heart.

What the fuck is happening?

We finally arrived at the town, I open the car door hurriedly, Yato didn't like that.
"Wait." He said simply, immediately expecting me to follow his order.
I roll my eyes.
"As if I'd follow through with that, I need to blow off some fucking steam."

To be honest, I feel like shit, I'll act like shit, and I'll be shit.

I walk down the empty roads, darkness everywhere I looked, I could hear Yato's feet clanking hurriedly in the concrete sidewalk. I groan.

This time, I ran, did it fucking hurt? Yes. Did I care? Nope.

The only way to satisfy this blood lust that seemed to be orbiting around me is to kill, kill something, someone.

But I knew for a damn fact this motherf*cker wasn't going to allow me to do it a second time.

I need to kill.

My hands shook, my legs were quivering in excitement, I had a fucking migraine, but it felt great. I felt the need chuckle endlessly. I jump a build, the streets were empty, but that didn't faze me.

Something was exploding inside of me, a grin formed, my eyes showed nothing but craze. A flashback of dad's old, approved look only motivated me to find someone to slaughter, and fast.

I knew I was unstable, and I loved it.

Finally, I found someone. A mother and her six year old daughter. Both? Or One? I took off my bandages, to make this experience even better. I sprint, one foot in front of the other, I marched my foot on the railing and jumped.

I landed only a few feet away from the mother and her child, my hand raised up. I was ready to use my full strength, I quickly try to aim at her head. My laughter echoed in my head.

Something stopped me, well, more like someone. I came face to face with my exemplar, my blessed Vessel, Sadda.

My eyes narrow, and Sadda held my fist. I glared fiercely at the regalia standing before me. I was ready to pounce on him, but I quickly came to my senses.

He stared at my eye in disbelief once I grabbed my arm, restraining myself from hurting anyone, or anything. I grab the bandages, and sturdily roll them back around my eye.

The lady continued on, grabbing the young girl's hand and continuing their walk. They were completely oblivious as to what was about to happen to them.

"What's wrong with your eye, you didn't let phantoms consume you, did yo-?"
"No. I didn't." I cut him off, and looked at the ground. I didn't want to look him straight in the eye, I couldn't.
"Then what is it?" His eye bore down at me, like a mother scolding their child.
"I don't know, I just saw it after escaping the underworl-" I stopped talking once I saw his questioning face.
"It's a long story." I explain.

He sighs,
"We can't let Yato see it." He clarifies.
"No shit, he'll freak ou-fuck me."
"Let me see what, exactly?" He asks, a cold look stared back at me when I saw his face.
I stayed silent at first, but looking at his icy expression, I knew what to do. There was only one thing I could do, lie. "Izanami, she wants revenge, and she wants to go after the new, reincarnated Ebisu." I pull down my kimino's long sleeves and after taking off some bandages I revealed a medium sized scar. "This is a symbol of her promise."

I'm a great fucking liar.

He believed me and he was mad.

His expression reminded me of when he was enraged, when he goes to kill mode. He was not letting Izanami lay a hand on him, and he'd rather die than let that sack of filthy phantoms kill Ebisu.

I sigh,
"This is why we didn't want to tell you." I say, glaring at my brother.

Yato spares me a glance before walking to the direction of Kofuku,
"I'll be waiting at Kofuku, she's worried about you." He grumbled, quietly. I hummed in acknowledgement.

He walks, like a lost puppy, strained, tired, and afraid. He was quite easy to read. I knew he was like this because of me, and the lie I just made up, he's frustrated.

Once Yato was a good distance away, he continued our talk.
"You always have had a gift with lies."

I don't respond, but instead turn to him, and look at him dead in the eyes, I stayed silent for a few more seconds.

"Sadda,

is it a gift

or a curse?"