Demi Imagines 3.0

I Miss You

Dear Demi, 

Hey I kinda liked you for a while. If I could tell you everything I wanted to say and not have to worry about the consequences, I'd probably say this.

I think you're beautiful. Your mind is beautiful. Yeah you have flaws. Yeah you can be a selfish asshole sometimes. But when you look at me and say you care, I believe you. I don't know if that's stupid of me to do, but I do it anyway. I was blinded at first, completely mesmerized by you. When I started to see again, I saw you differently. But I don't know if I was finally seeing the real you or just a façade. Or just what I wanted to see.

What did those words mean. What did those lingering looks and soft touches mean. What did those texts mean. Why did you want to know me so well.

I miss you. I miss the way my mind would feel when I was talking to you. I miss the way we could talk about real things. I miss the way we didn't have to get angry over having different opinions.

I miss thinking about you that way. I know it's for the best. But I miss it.

I miss staying up late talking to you. I miss dreaming about you. I miss looking into your eyes and holding your gaze for a moment too long. I miss you making me laugh so hard that I couldn't breathe. 

I still think about you every day. I don't know when I'm going to stop thinking of you or if I ever will. A part of me wants to drop everything and see you right now. Another part never wants to see your face again. 

You're an enigma; I still can't figure you out. Maybe you were fooling me all along. And maybe I don't even care. 

———

I see you, but you don't see me yet. I don't want to see you. That's what I know now. I want to leave the room before you approach. I scramble to gather my things, but I'm too slow. "Hey," you say to me. I look at you for a moment, not knowing what to say. "How are you?" you ask as if you don't know what you're doing to me. Maybe you don't. 

"Demi, hey," I finally reply, and you look at me quizzically. 

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah I am," I lie. Your brown eyes seem to look through me. 

"I missed you," you say. It's harder to breathe now. 

"Yeah." I feel tears starting to build up in my eyes. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" you ask, and I look down for a moment. 

"Yeah. I have to go." I gather the rest of my books and try to pass you, but you stop me. 

"Talk to me."

You were there for me when nobody else was. 

"I really have to go," I say, trying again to pass you. You stop me again. 

"I'm serious. What did I do?"

I think I love you. 

"What did you do?" I look at you again. "What do you think you fucking did?" I say, my voice rising slightly. I lower it again as I look into your brown eyes. "You know what you did."

"Can't we work through it?"

"Don't act like we're dating, Demetria," I say, and you look almost hurt. 

I'm sorry. 

"I know we're not dating, but aren't we at least friends?" you respond. 

I love you. 

"No." I push past you finally and leave the room. I hear you say my name, but I don't turn back. I feel my eyes brimming with tears. 

You were there for me when nobody else was. 

I run down the stairs, nearly dropping my books in my rush. 

"Wait!" I hear your voice. I don't turn around. I push past people and walk out of the school, ignoring your pleas for me to stop. You don't want me. I know you don't. 

———

Dear Demi, 

I care. Fuck you for not. 

A/N

Feeling weird