Demi Imagines 3.0

A Hundred Letters You'll Never Read

This is a bit of a different one

Demi's P.O.V.

I wish I could tell you my feelings. I would tell you absolutely everything and tell you every emotion I felt and still feel. I wish I could reach out to you and let you know everything. I want to tell you everything from my perspective so we can both live through it again. And maybe then, you'll finally understand why I fucking hate you.

I can't fathom how you think you can just use me as you please and act like nothing even happened between us. I can't understand how your minuscule brain functions. How could you say things you didn't even mean? How could you act the way you did without any remorse? How could you say all that and then act like I didn't exist. I was nothing to you; I know that now. But why couldn't you just tell me instead of beating around the bush like you did. Nothing you said was ever direct. You just avoided conflict. Sometimes, you need conflict.

But in the end, I can't tell you how I feel. I've written you a hundred letters, and you'll never get to read them. You probably don't even deserve to read them. I'm not letting you inside my mind anymore.

So I'm done with the letters. I'm done talking to you. Funny. This is the same thing as before. I'm talking and you're not listening. No difference. Imagine being that passive.

Anyway. I'm done. Goodbye.

———

I stopped thinking about that person. I mean, it doesn't work as easily as "oh, I'm not going to think about you anymore!" Obviously it's not that easy. It's kinda like how when someone tells you to not think about an elephant, you start thinking about an elephant.

But eventually, as long as you're not having to be reminded to not think of the elephant (thus making you think of the elephant), the elephant eventually lumbers out of your brain. Eventually. And then you're only going to think about the elephant when you hear the elephant's name once in a blue moon. Or when you see something that reminds you of the elephant. Maybe some shit on the ground? Sorry, the elephant doesn't deserve to be subjected to that. She's doing amazing. We love the elephant. 

Anyway, that's what I did. I gradually got rid of him from my memory. (No more elephant metaphor. She's too good for this.)

Oftentimes, the best way to forget is to have memories replaced. You can't really erase memories (unfortunately), but you can blur them. And sometimes, you really have to blur some memories.

And that's when I met her. Right when I needed someone the most, she saw me. And together, we were suddenly crashing and falling deeper and deeper until we were unapologetically obsessed with each other. And nothing else mattered anymore.

Bad memories at the beach: replaced by a candlelight dinner with her. Restaurants that left a bitter taste in my mouth: now locations to have our 3 AM snacks. And those letters? Burned. Pictures? Burned. Every physical memory of him? Burned.

A part of me knows there's something to take from what happened. And I'll take what I can. But what I can't make use of, I'll leave in the past where it belongs.

And she made me realize that I needed to do that. She made me see what life could be like if I accepted the love I truly deserved. And hell, I deserve good things. I still feel like I don't deserve her—but she assures me I do. She says it, so it must be true. Ah well.

A/N

This was pretty different I think (and veeeery casual I know—it was fun to write)

I am milking this old situation I know

It's not my fault that this fucking person messaged me again last night ya know

Of course he's gonna get another thing written about him