Foundation of Dance

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 🎄

Olivia

"No!" I protested taking a few steps away from Alexandra, "I'm not going!"

"You never go!" Alexandra protested pulling on my arm, I pulled it back harshly and slumped on my bed. I crossed my arms shaking my head. 

"I'm not going," I repeated, Alexandra sighed and sat next to me. 

"And why not?" She enquired, I stared at her ludicrously, did she seriously ask that?

"What if something happens?" I said, she snorts in amusement and I roll my eyes. 

"Like what?"

"I don't know," I mutter feeling a little irritated. "Anything! And just going after years of skipping out?"

Alexandra smiles softly and leans closer, "and what if you actually have fun?" She proposed, "Jazzy and I love going, so does everyone else and every year they ask Mrs Reynolds where you are."

I take a silent breath and lay my hands in my lap, looking down. Tonight is the annual Christmas sleepover. Every year Mrs Reynolds organises a sleepover for all of us senior dancers on the 22nd of December, apparently there are games and gossiping until midnight and dancing around without a care in the world. Alexandra also told me that the twins bring a white blanket and a projector to put on a movie as well. This year, Alexandra is trying to convince me to go for the first time, I've never gone the previous years because I get too anxious, the first year I had gotten as far as packing before a panic attack hit me and I haven't tried going ever since. 

I take a deep breath and gaze into Alexandra's dark eyes, looking for any sign of uncertainty or a lie. There was none. "Fine," I relent standing up from my bed, "I'll go."

Alexandra shot up like meerkat and clapped her hands together. "Great! Where's your night bag?"

I take my night bag out from my wardrobe and lay it on my bed. I pursed my lips and take my fidget cube off from my desk, moving it between my fingers. My heart was starting to race as a familiar, unwelcome feeling edged itself into my stomach and up to my heart. 

"Now, first you'll need-"

Alexandra's voice blocked out and sounded like I was submerged in water. I fidgeted with my cube more viciously and kept my eyes downcast. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, waiting another moment before opening them but nevertheless, once I opened them a single tear cascaded down my cheek. My heart started to thump loudly in my ears and further drowned out Alexandra's voice as she pulled out random clothes from my wardrobe, my breath quickened until I began to hyperventilate. 

'Something's going to happen,' a voice whispered, 'you're going to be humiliated and they'll talk about you, do you really think they'll leave you alone after not going for so many years?'

I heaved a sob and through my blurred eyes, I glimpsed Alexandra turned to face me. "Olivia?" She asked, I covered my mouth to prevent myself from releasing another disgusting noise. Alexandra reached a hand out but I took a rapid step back and started shaking my head.

Before my brain could catch up with my body I was out the bedroom door. I bolted down the hallway, stumbling a little over my own fumbling feet. "Olivia!" I heard Alexandra call after me, I ran into the lounge room, 'where am I even going?' I questioned myself, I had no idea, I just bolted. "Olivia!"

My arm was snagged roughly and I wrenched it back, "let go of me!" I screamed. The hand gripped my arm again and I was pulled into Alexandra's chest. 

"Ollie, what's wrong?" She asked in a mildly panicked voice, she wrapped her arms around my waist and I crumbled in her arms, finally giving in. 

"I can't do it," I whimpered, "I-I-" my breath hitched and Alexandra sat me on the couch. "I can't do it! I'm scared!" I admitted, Alexandra shushed me and pulled me to her side, rubbing her hand comfortingly up and down my arm.