Recall

Chapter 7: Forbidden (flashback)

A week passed after our first meet up, and also a week passed past after we made the thing between us official. So were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I miss every single bit of him. I miss his scent and touch. Its so hard to schedule another meet up cause first of all this thing between us is forbidden and my parents are over protective when it comes to me. Tell me how ill meet him again? I can only meet him when both of them has the same schedule at work. This is so complicated, seriously.

"Hey Kim wake up, youre day dreaming again." Win snapping his fingers infront of my face.

Win Spark my closest guy friend. I can basically hug him anytime i want without making it look like im flirting with him. He's tall even though he looks short. He was so short in junior year then suddenly bam! He became so tall! What's with guys' hormones making them so tall. Gosh.

I was daydreaming again in the middle of class, luckily our Math teacher doesnt care if we sleep or do other things in class. Then he sprayed his perfume. I took a sniff and it smelled exactly like Justine's perfume. Now i think ill hug him more than before because of his scent. But what if Justine gets jealous of Win. Nah, maybe not, he wont know anyways.

Days passed and i accidentally told Justine about Win's scent and how i became so clingy to him because of that. I've noticed that everytime i talk about Win or my other guy friends he gets so silent, his replies would turn so short.

"Hey Justine, are you jealous?" I asked him out of the blue.

"Jealous about what?" He confusedly asked.

"About Win or any of my guy friends, cause ive noticed that your replies would be so short when i tell you stories about them, especially Win."

"Okay, ill admit. I am. Im jealous, cause you can hug him anytime you want, how bout me not right? Im jealous cause he's always there next to you, how bout me? Im miles away from you. Im also scared, scared cause you might fall for him and i dont want that to happen cause i dont wanna lose you." He said with a heavy voice.

"What no! Youre not gonna lose me. Were just friends." I explained.

"Yes you guys are friends with a bit of sweetness and clinginess, im scared because both of us started just like that." He shouted. I dont know if ill consider this a fight or not, but what i know is that i like him being all protective and being jealous. Its cute.

"Hahahahaha! Youre so cute when you get all mad about that." Youre not gonna lose me, dont worry okay" i said ending it with a smile.

I thought i was the one who'll get jealous and stuff but i was wrong. He gets jealous so easily. But i like it. Plus what can i do, Win is the only guy i know that has the same scent that he has, and i miss him so badly so everytime i hug Win it feels like im hugging Justine instead of Win.

Its been days after that conversation, and ive been closer to Win than before. We talk most of the time, just the two of us. Win has this humor that everyone likes. He can make up jokes which are really funny, but what i like most about Win's company is that when he knows you have a problem he would turn to this serious guy that's so open minded about things.

"You're being to close to Win and you guys are being too clingy to each other too. Ive noticed that for these past few days." Fe said with a serious tone of voice.

Im walking to our lounge area with Fe, just the two of us. I miss this kind of times. Its like the good old times before our fight happened.

"I know. It's just that... I dont know he has the same scent as Justine and i miss him, so everytime im with Win it feels like im with Justine instead." I answered looking straight to the place where were going.

"Does Justine know about this?" She looked at me supiciously.

I nodded without saying anything. He knows because ive been telling him all about Win, i know its wrong but i like it when he gets jealous, i find it fun with him getting all over protective. It makes me feel like im really special to him.

"He knows and he's just fine with it?" She shouted. I guess she was shock with my answer, maybe Fe's thinking that why would a boyfriend be fine with his girlfriend being clingy with another guy that has the same scent he has.

"Shhhhh... No need to shout. No he's not fine with it, he gets so jealous when i talk about Win. But i like him being jealous, i find it funny and cute. It makes me feel like im really special to him and he doesnt wanna lose me." I explained to her. Maybe she wont get why im being like this or maybe she will. I dont know.

She let this slip away cause she knows ill get irritated when she interrogates me about these kind of things. Its annoying yes.

"Anyways, tell me about you guys. Whats happening with you guys? I need an update!" Fe said while hitting my arms. Gosh is she really that supportive with me and Justine. Maybe because she's just happy seeing me changing little by little.

I admit Justine changed me big time. My depression isnt that much like before, he supports me when im giving up with the problem that my mother is facing right now becuse of my father, and he's changing me to a girl, not that because im a boy, but its because im not the girly type of girl that likes skirts or pink or cute stuffs. He's also the reason why i wanna lose some pounds, and he's the reason why i smile suddenly in the middle of class. He's the angel that was sent for a demon. He's different from all the guys i dated.

So i updated Fe about us, detail by detail. Until it was dismissal time and i was still telling stories about me and him.

"Dont you get bored? You want the whole story detailed and its so long." I asked her.

"No! I want it detailed! Im happy seeing my friend happy again after a year, cause ive noticed that you changed and i know thats because of him."

Until i got home, and until then im chatting with Fe until she asked me how much do i love Justine.

"I love him so much. I dont wanna admit it but i do." I replied to her.

"But wait! Hahahaha! Im just kidding!" I followed up.

"Ill screenshot this and send it to Justine. Hahaha!" She said.

"WTF NO! But youre not friends with him at facebook!"

"Ill send him a friend request. Hahaha. Piece of cake."

"NO FE! PLS DONT!" I messaged her.

But she isnt replying. Gosh! Please reply! I dont want him to know that cause i dont want him to know how much i love him thats why everytime i say something sweet to him at the end ill add "just kidding." Crazy i know but im just not the type of girl to show a guy how much she really does feel for him. Suddenly my phone beeped. I unlocked it and saw a picture that Fe sended me. It was a screen shot of her sending Justine the conversation Fe and I had. That girl!

What now? He'll say that a demon has also a sweet side. Im the dominant one instead of him. He does every single thing i want him to do because he knows i get angry easily.

"FEEEEEEE! WHAT NOW! HE'LL SAY THAT I HAVE A BIT SWEET SIDE?!" I said to her.

"Why are you being so denial when it comes to what you feel for him?" She asked

"Because im scared to admit how much i love him, i cant even admit it to myself how much i fell for him, how can i admit it to him right. Im scared that if he knows what i really do feel, he'll just play with it. Im tired to being the one who cries at the end."

"What if he wont play with your feelings? I know that he loves you as much as you love him. Dont be denial cause once he thinks that you really dont love him, he'll drift away from you."