HIM .. Joe Goldberg

ME

I STOPPED TAKING MY MEDICATION EXACTLY THREE MONTHS TO THE DATE. It was a good thing I did, Master always says that the government is trying to poison us with the prescription drugs they hand out.

As I look in the mirror, I try to imagine how you saw me. Red lips, cartoon eyes, sculpted cheekbones. I really hope you liked me, Joe. You said I was gorgeous, did you mean that? Do you truly believe I am the most gorgeous person to walk into your bookstore? It's important to me that you think I'm beautiful—I want to seem unrealistic to you. I want to be like a goddess. Your goddess. I want to be the best thing you've ever had.

Your picture is on my wall, Joe. Do you know that? I scribbled out her, she doesn't need to be there—corrupting your perfection. The picture is of your side profile, walking in the park, displaying that wonderful smile. You didn't know me when I took it, but you know me now.

Would you remember my sister if I told you who she was? If I didn't change my last name, would it have rung a bell? There were girls after her. You were quite absorbed with the blonde one! Enough time has passed that you have completely forgotten my face, though I suppose I can't blame you. I was younger at the time. Innocent. You were dating my sister, not me. However, I never forgot your face. How could I? Helios in the flesh, a son of Aphrodite. You are what men are suppose to look like, suppose to be. Greater than David, more sacred than even the most promising saint. But you already know that, don't you?

When I meet at Master's sermons, I talk about you with the girls. They all love you too, Joe. They think you're absolutely gorgeous. I'll never let them get closer than a picture, though. You're mine. Master also approves of you, he says you have great potential. Maybe one day, I can bring you to the church. Would you like that?

You don't have Facebook, nor do you dwindle on any other social media. You're too intelligent for all of the ignorance that roam those poor sites, idiots upon idiots. Everyone thinks they're a big deal, little do they realize true big deals don't need to be acknowledged and approved of to realize how powerful they are. They already know.

I am your Annie Wilkes, and you're my Paul Sheldon. I already know you know who I'm talking about. I'm your biggest fan, Joe. I'll love you with all my heart, just like how she did. I'll treat you well, I'll take care of you. I'm a nurse, Joe. I can take care of you.

One day. One day soon.

I take down my picture of you and hide it in my pillowcase. If I did everything correctly, I'll be expecting a visit, like Santa Clause creeping into children's houses while they're dead asleep. I gave you all the right clues, Joe. Now it's your job to put them together.

Will you come for me?