For Us

Chapter VI

Tell me

Don't endure it,

Don't struggle on your own.

Be it a crazy thought,

Or a silly idea,

I'll hear it with all my heart,

Just take the initiative to

Tell me cause I'm here,

For you.

~~~~

She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone...

It feels a lot more difficult now that she sat beside her best friend.

The silence was deafening but she felt her friend's comforting aura, making her relax.

But the words wouldn't come out, they were clogging up her throat as she nervously played with the keychain in her hand. The jiggling of the keys provided a momentary distraction for her focus as she tried to bring up the topic.

She felt like a disappointment since she wasn't able to speak up... Her idols would be disappointed in her for not speaking herself.

How can I love them when I can't love myself? She thought to herself before looking up to see her friend scrolling through her phone.

A part of her was encouraging her to speak up but a minute piece of her kept on throwing the questions of doubt and made her second guess every move.

Don't burden her!

She'll understand, she's your best friend!

She won't understand!

Remember how she helped you! Remember how she held you when you were crying because your senior bullied you!

The memory brought back tears in her eyes. Despite being months old, the thought of it always pierced her heart.

Everyone's problems are different... Why do you want to add on to hers?

Endure it.

It felt like her mind was distributed into pieces. Some to drag her down, some to push her forward, some to remind her of the things that made her her, some to overthink while a part of her always made sure to brush away all of them. She felt that part didn't belong in the garden of her gloomy thoughts but she was glad it was there.

~~~

Things were a lot different than he remembered but since this time he woke up almost a year back, he can hardly recollect everything.

As he sat in his studio, he couldn't remember what he was doing the first time...

Just when he thought she was doing well, he was dragged back in time.

This time it is before she realized that she had a soulmate.

How can I love them when I can't love myself? This sudden thought jolted him from his daze.

He wanted to hold her and tell her that she was really brave... Brave for trying so hard. Brave for trying.

He needed to make her realize that she had someone in this world who will accept her for her true self with all the flaws and imperfections. He needed to get her to understand that she had a mate.

Last time it took almost years to make her realize after he himself had understood that he had a mate. Since he came back a year... He was almost at the end of through the process.

Before, he didn't know much but now... Now he knew had some experience.

She didn't start harming herself! He abruptly realized. He felt thankful for the first time ever that the universe had him stuck in a time loop.

Suddenly he caught a glimpse of her memories.

He wished that he couldn't see them but he had to suffer.

He was able to feel the waves of pain and betrayal through the memories.

He can feel the hurt she experienced as her senior bullied her.

Betrayal is not experienced unless you trust someone, so Namjoon realized that the senior was probably a friend before taking up the role of a bully.

Removing the headphones he was wearing, he pondered on the facts he had collected about his mate.

She has issues at home.

She has issues at school or college.

She has issues to share anything.

She doesn't cry properly and bottles up everything.

Her mind itself plays tug of war with her...

This reminded him of how he found out... How he realized that he had a soulmate.