Promises (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter 58

Jacks POV:

Hearing what my parents had to say tore me up. I don't know if it's because they're my parents, or because of their reactions to my accident, but it hurt.

They left just a few minutes ago, and I'm now awaiting somebody else to visit. I'm assuming that we've gotten to the point where everybody is allowed to see me now, but I'm not sure that I like that. Of course having friends and family around makes me feel better, but I don't want them to see me like this. And there's one person in particular that I'm especially scared to see. But, I get the feeling she'll be the next one to come in.

And, I'm right. Once I hear the door open and the small, quiet footsteps start to approach me, I can tell its Charlotte. I can just imagine the look on her face right now. I can see the fear in her eyes and the despair in the frown on her lips without even being able to see her.

Just like my parents, I hear her come to the chair next to my bed and sit down. I just want to hold her and apologize for everything and never let her go, but I can't. She doesn't know how badly I want her close to me right now

Charlotte's quiet for a moment, probably trying to figure out what to say.

"Hey Jack," she starts, "it's me."

Her voice is shaky and I know that she might start crying soon.

"We're all here. Me, Johsnon, Mahogany, Sam... Everybody."

She pauses again. Suddenly, I feel her take my hand and wrap both of hers around it. Just her touch is too much for me to handle right now. I guess it's a good thing that I'm incapable of showing emotion right now.

"Jack, I know you can hear me. So please, listen to me. I'm so sorry this happened. If I hadn't been so stupid in the first place, then we wouldn't be in this mess. I know that it's all my fault, but you have to know that I'm sorry, ok?"

How is this her fault? There is no way she could've cause this to happen. But of course, there's no way to tell her that. After a minute, she continues.

"I know that whatever you're feeling right now has to suck, but please, don't give up. Not yet. I know that it would just be easiest to let go of everything and just leave this all behind, but please don't. You can't. You have so many people here that care about you. I mean, there is a waiting room full of your friends and family. We all love you too much to let you go. Especially me, Jack. I love you. I always have from the day I met you. Everything that we've been through together has made me a better person, and it's all because of you. I love you so fucking much it hurts to even think about life without you. If you left, I don't think I could live this life anymore. I won't give up on you. I can't."

I can hear he choke up at the last part. Her sobs start as she finishes speaking, and inside, I feel like there's a big part of me that is being torn to shreds. The girl that I am in love with is sitting here crying because of me, and there's nothing I can do.

I can't hold her. I can't comfort her. I can't kiss her to make her feel better. I can't whisper things in her ear until she calms down. I can't tell her that everything will be alright. I just have to witness her having a breakdown as I helplessly lay here. And it sucks.

But, even if I could, I don't know that I would tell her that everything will be alright. I mean, what if it's not? It's pretty clear that based on what people have been saying that I'm not in a good condition. So how am I supposed to convince her that I'll be alright if I can't even convince myself?

Luckily, her tears calm. I know Charlotte, and she hates crying. She hates feeling bad for herself and she tries to hide t the best she can. So of course she was embarrassed to cry in front of me. She always is, and I wish that she wouldn't be, because I know that that will just make her stay an even shorter amount of time.

And like I said, it isn't long before she's standing up to leave. I feel her hands reluctantly slip from mine as she stands to leave. And it's killing me to have her leave. There's only one thing worse than having her leave me, and that's when she cries because of something I did. But I've already experienced that once today, and I don't think I can take much more of it. So, maybe her leaving right now is best for the both of us.

After I'm alone again, I'm not really sure what to do. I know that someone else will probably be coming along soon, so now I have to go through what just happened like ten more times. This is going to be rough. Especially considering that I'm not over what just happened yet. But, I just have to be strong and keep my game face. It's not like I have much of a choice, anyways.

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A/n:

Ok so I'm just going to skip over all if he excuses and stuff and just say that I honestly kinda forgot about this

Like the last week went by really quickly and so I just kinda forgot

But I'm back now so I hope that I can update again by next weekend so yeah

I'll definitely be updating at least once a week, so just remember that

Thanks for being patient with me everyone