It was very hard for me to forget. Of course it was. I was completely in love with the man, and he broke my heart. He took every piece of it and left nothing behind. I mean, I never truely got over it. The way his kisses left imprints on my lips. The warm comfort and safe feeling of his arms wrapped around me. His blue eyes deeper than the sea, and my love for him stronger than the light of a thousand suns. I can never forget the way he said that we would always be together, that he could never leave me. But yet, here I am, left...broken hearted by that same man.
"I still love you....."
I would say to him if I got the chance. I would look into his eyes so he could see the pain that he has put me through. So that he could see that those lies changed me. So that he could acknowledge that he changed me. Not for the best either. I can't trust anyone anymore. How will I know that they will keep those promises. How can I tell the difference between a lie and the truth. Does the truth even exist? It's hard to believe that you are still out there. Roaming the streets. You have probably forgotten everything by now. Shut out the only real happiness you had. Just because of a few mistakes. You are weak. You are a weak, selfish coward......but I love you.
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The weeks drag by slowly at first. I can feel every second ticking by. I have no use with my life at this point and nothing can make me happy. Kalel, Dave, and Penelope live with me, in the house I used to call home. But now it just feels abandoned. It doesn't feel like a home. It feels like a dingy motel room. A place where people go to forget, to live away from society. Somewhere to stay when you have no home. A place hiding secrets, and lies, deep within the sheets of the bed. Somewhere where I would never offer to stay. Yet I am living in one.
Then the weeks begin to pick up, and soon weeks turn into months, and I am turning somewhat happy. I still have a family. Conscience moves in and him and I share a room. We buy bunk beds from Ikea and I have a bestfriend again. We stay up all night and talk, while playing video games and watching movies. Conscience gets a girlfriend, who is a total sweetheart, and sometimes takes him off of my hands. Conscience has really helped in my healing. We went to a 5SOS concert a few months ago, he got us VIP tickets, and we got to meet the boys. Luke and Ashton recgonized me from Smosh, and even gave us there numbers. They have also helped with the healing proccess of it all. Sometimes the guys will all call me up for a chat, and we talk while they ride their tour bus across America.
Months turn into years, and I am still heart broken. Penelope is a teenager now, in Grade 10, and she is so smart. She plays the chello and has a boyfriend named Marcus, he comes over sometimes. He is really funny, and super cool. I can tell that Penelope is really into him, and he the same for her. I know that it is bad that I envy them, but I have to....I had that relationship once too, and I let it go. Kalel and Dave are engaged, and Dave has already pronouced me his best man, which really ticked off his brother. Dave and I have also become really great friends. Ever since that day when I came back from my parents, and he hugged me, telling me that everything was going to be okay, he had my back. He always watched out for me, and always told me to follow my heart. He was a really down to Earth guy.
Finally there was Granger. Granger was the puppy that Dave, Kalel, Penelope, and Conscience got me a few days after I got home. Granger was a shih ztu puppy, and he was the cutest puppy I had ever seen. He loved me to death, and whenever I came up there was kissing everywhere. Granger filled that hole in my heart that Ian took. He snuggled himself into that hole, and loved me more than any dog had loved any human before.
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Kalel and Dave had gone grocery shopping after they dropped Penelope at work that day. I remember sitting on the couch, looking at my phone as the minutes ticked by. I remember the feeling of Granger licking my arm. Then I remember seeing him, as though it was clear as day. I remember looking through the window and seeing him. But only for a prief moment before he quickly ducked down. I ran to the door, throwing it open. But when I looked down, nobody was there.
