Reckless

Can't Get You Off My Mind

MEGANS POV

I finally caught up with Justin, knowing I was going to regret this.

"Megan?" Justin said surprised.

"I needed to talk to you, I needed to hear your voice, I needed to hear you say my name, I needed to be beside you for more than a second. I know I'm going to regret this later, but I love you and I know you messed up and I shouldn't forgive you so easily and I'm not. I'm still mad, but I just need one last hug, one last goodbye. If it's even going to be the last, I don't know..." I said trying to catch my breath with tears pouring out of my eyes. "I love you Justin and I don't wanna end this but I know I have to. I just needed to talk to you. Jonah is in there. I'm not suppose to be talking to you or he'll get mad."

Justin was speechless. He took me in his arms, "I love you, Megan. Only you. I've been broken all day. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me." He said crying with his chin on my head.

"I have to Justin, I have to go." I said backing up, out of his grip. I could feel all of the love in that hug. I didn't want to leave, but I knew I had to.

I turned on my heel heading for the street again.

Justin caught up and grabbed my wrist, "Please don't leave me."

"I have to." I said slipping out of his grasp and speed walking across the street going into the fast food place Jonah was in.

I made perfect timing. Jonah was just getting out of the restroom. I started balling my eyes out seeing Justin walking there all alone.

Jonah rushed over to me and comforted me. "shh shh" He whispered.

"Want me to take you home?" Jonah asked.

I shook my head against his chest.

We got to my house, and I kicked off my shoes, fed Teza, and went upstairs with Jonah following me.

I plopped myself down on my bed throwing my elbow over my eyes, crying, again.

"Do you want me to go home?" He asked.

"No... stay." I said patting the side of the bed next to me.

"Are you sure? How would your dad feel about that?" Jonah questioned.

"He'll be fine. He's in California right now." I answered.

"Is it okay if I take off my shirt then?" Jonah laughed.

I shook my head partially because I wanted to see him with his shirt off, and because it was okay.

He then slid off his black hoodie, and black tee shirt. He threw his hat on my vanity. I peeked through my elbow checking him out as he came over and climbed on his side of the bed. His six pack was so defined and nice. It made me smile to be honest.

I got up. I went over to my dresser getting PINK legging yoga pants, and a baggy tee.

I walked into my bathroom and got changed.

I walked out, turned off the light, and went back into bed. I'm pretty positive Jonah was fast asleep.

I grabbed my phone that was sitting on my nightstand. I didn't take it with me when Jonah and I went downtown, so I decided to check my notifications.

Voicemails (3)

Text Messages (5)

Missed Phone Calls (10)

All from Justin.

I knew that if I were to listen to the voice mails it would just knock me down more hearing his voice.

But I wanted to read the text messages.

'Megan, I love you. I regret everything. You probably dont wanna talk to me ever again, but I dont wanna lose you, not like this.'

'Please answer my calls.'

'I can't express how sorry I am. I know I've let you down, and I'll never forgive myself for that. I'm sorry.'

'I miss you.'

'Thanks for talking to me for those few seconds. I needed to hear you're voice again. I understand if you don't wanna talk to me ever again. I've really messed up, and you deserve better. I'll try to leave you alone. I love you though, always remember that.'

As I read those messages it brought tears to my eyes. I didn't want to reply. I didn't know what to say to them either. I just closed my phone.

I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.

*

I woke up early in the morning. Teza was barking.

I walked downstairs. Someone knocked on the door.

I timidly walked over to the door. I looked through the peephole, Justin.

I hesitated to open the door, but knew it would be rude if I didn't.

"Hey..." I said examining him. His eyes were puffy and watery. It broke my heart.

"You've been on my mind." He said, "I couldn't sleep last night. You just weren't there, and I felt empty. I miss you. I'm sorry, I love you."

I could hear my bedroom door open, shit.

Jonah made his way downstairs, shirtless, fuck, the feels, shit.

Justin looked behind me seeing Jonah, fuck.

"He stayed here?" Justin said getting mad.

"I didn't want him to drive home so late at night." I said.

"As I'm sitting at my house trying to get ahold of you, repeatedly calling you, and texting you, you are here. Sleeping beside him? Really, Megan?" He said shaking his head tearing up. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"Trust me Justin it wasn't like that." I said shaking my head. I stepped outside shutting the door behind me.

"Justin, it wasn't like that. Please, stop crying. You're breaking my heart." I said rubbing his arm. I could still feel sparks.

"I know you feel it!" He said.

"Feel what?"

"The sparks. The ones we've always had!" He said.

I nodded.

"Please, just give me one last chance!" He said looking me in the eyes.

I sighed, "Let's get coffee at 8. Okay? We can talk about it there. Just not here, not now. I just want to go to sleep."

He nodded his head, "I'll pick you up at 8."

I tried to act strong, and not cry seeing him, but I'm a mess on the inside. I'm balling my eyes on the inside. I know that once I walk inside and see Justin leave without being able to give me a hug or kiss goodbye I was going to lose it.

I know he's not good for me. I know that I shouldn't have made plans with him, but I need to.

I walked inside, and just as I predicted, I lost it. I fell to the floor and balled my eyes out.

Jonah came running from the kitchen. He took me in his arms, "It's going to be okay..." He comforted.