My Little Girl

Chapter 13

That night, I didn't get any sleep. Partially because I was in too much pain and the morphine didn't seem to be working and partially because I was afraid to close my eyes only to open them again and be back in that room with Jack. So, I just stared at the monitor on my right, watching the rise and fall of the line as my heart beat and held my breath, to see how much I could make my heart rate slow down and my blood pressure go up and trying to beat those numbers each time without passing out. When I got bored of that, I grabbed the flashlight one of the nurses left beside my bed in case whoever was staying with me needed it to see in the middle of the night. I turned it on and shined it at the wall across the room, making sure I never woke up Sam. I held the flashlight with my teeth while I made different shapes with my fingers, making different shadows on the wall. Eventually, I ran out of ideas for shadow shapes so I decided I would grab my phone and text Dean to see if by some miracle he was awake so I had someone to talk to. I managed to grab it from my nightstand without moving too much and ripping any stitches and putting myself through more pain. I grab it and find Dean's contact before texting him.

Me: Are you awake?

While I wait for a response, I shine the flashlight on the ceiling and start counting the ceiling tiles, not knowing how long I'll have to wait for a response or if Dean's even awake, which I'm sure he is. I mean, have you seen how much sleep that man loses? A lot. I'm not even sure he sleeps anymore. After about two minutes, my phone vibrates making me jump before making sure Sam didn't wake up. 

Dean: Depends. What do you want?

I chuckle softly at the response before typing a response. 

Can't sleep. Got bored and needed someone to talk to. 

I decided it might be best to omit the fact that I was in pain. If I told him, all he would do was worry. 

Oh. How long have you been awake?

Me: I never went to sleep. I've been up all night. You?

Dean: Same. Why are you awake?

Me: Not tired. Why are you awake?

Dean: Not tired either. How are you feeling?

Me: Okay. Not super good but better than yesterday. 

Dean: Are you in any pain?

I smile to myself. I've only known Dean for a month and he's still the most concerned person I know. I figured I might as well tell him the truth instead of lie. 

Me: Yeah. It's a little worse than earlier. I don't think the morphine is working.

Dean: There's a little red button attached to a grey wire on the left side of the bed. Press it and it will call a nurse. Ask them if they can give you any more morphine and up the dosage a little bit. Also ask them for something to help you sleep. Or wake up Sam and make him get his lazy ass up and find a nurse. 

Me: It's fine. It's almost time for my next dosage anyway. And it's already almost sunrise so there's no point in going to sleep now. 

Dean: If it hurts, call a nurse. That's what they're there for. 

Me: I'll be fine, Dean. It will probably stop hurting soon and if it doesn't then it can't hurt any worse than it does. I'm going to try to get at least an hour of sleep. I'll see you when you get here. 

I don't wait for a response. I turn my phone off and put it back in its place, putting the flashlight beside it. I lay my head back and close my eyes, trying to get to sleep. I'm almost asleep, ignoring the increase of pain but it becomes almost unbearable. Why did I have to say it couldn't get any worse? I look for the call button but I can't find it. I look on both sides of the bed, make sure it isn't wrapped up in the blankets, and look at the tables on each side of the bed in case someone moved it, but I don't see anything. Sighing, I lay back again and decide to just stick it out. There's only two and a half hours left until sunrise. How much worse can it get?