My Little Girl

Chapter 20

The ride back to the motel was silent, the tension in the car so thick it was suffocating. When we finally get back to the motel, Dean storms to the room and walks in, Sam and I following behind. Dean switches on the light and Sam walks in behind him. I sigh and walk in last, closing and locking the door behind me. 

"What the hell were you thinking?" Dean asks Sam angrily, turning around to look at his older brother.

"What?! What the hell was I thinking?" Sam asks just as angrily. 

"She's a demon, Sam. Period. All right? They want us dead, we want them dead." Dean points out. I sigh again and take off my jacket, tossing it on the bed before sitting down on it, watching the brothers argue. Sam laughs humorlessly.

"Oh, that's funny." He says bitterly. "I remember that demon chick in Ohio, Casey? You didn't want her dead."

"Yeah, well she wasn't stringing me along like a fish on a hook." Dean defends himself. 

"No one's stringing me along!" Sam shouts. "Look, I know it's dangerous, that she is dangerous, but like it or not, she's useful."

"No! We kill her before she kills us." 

"Kill her with what? The gun she fixed for us?"

"Whatever works." I say, speaking up for the first time. The brothers turn and look at me. Dean in approval and gratitude that I was taking his side while Sam looked at me in disbelief that I was siding against him on this.

"Guys, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives." Sam tells us. I roll my eyes and Dean turns away from his brother, going to the sink and turning on the water. "Look, we have to start looking at the big picture, guys, start thinking in strategies and moves ahead." Dean splashes water on his face as Sam continues talking. "It's not so simple, we're not – we're not just hunting anymore. We're at war." Dean turns off the water and looks at his brother in the mirror above the sink with a slight glare. He grabs a towel and dries off his face, turning back to Sam. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Dean asks. I furrow my brow in confusion and Sam sighs in annoyance.

"Why are you always asking me that?" He asks, sitting on the end of the other bed. 

"Because you're taking advice from a demon, for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people. You know, it used to eat you up inside." Dean points out. I think about it for a second and realize he's right. Even from the short time I've known the brothers, I've noticed that Sam does seem like the more sensitive and caring brother.

"Yeah, and what has that gotten me?" Sam asks somewhat bitterly.

"Nothing, but it's just what you're supposed to do, okay? We're supposed to drive in the freakin' car and freakin' argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap." Dean says, rubbing his stomach uncomfortably.

"Wait, so you're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?" Sam asks in confusion. Dean looks at his younger brother and exhales.

"No, I'm not mad, I'm— I'm— I'm worried, Sam." He says, searching for the right word. He moves and sits down on the bed next to me. "I'm worried because you're not acting like yourself."

"Yeah, you're right, I'm not." Sam agrees. "I don't have a choice."

"What is that supposed to mean?" We ask at the same time, both confused. 

"Look, Dean, you're leaving – right? And I gotta stay here in this craphole of a world. Alone. So the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I gotta change." Sam says. I look down, not wanting to think about what's going happen after Dean's gone. I feel a slight hurt when Sam says he's going to be alone. He'll still have me. Won't he? I look up at Dean who had started to look more uncomfortable during Sam's speech and is now clutching his stomach in discomfort and leaning forward slightly.