Chapter 12 - Jackson

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Kissing Kenna was everything I had hoped it would be. Having her here and feeling like this could be our future was the best feeling ever. I knew things could be hard for us because I was getting ready to enter into the professional world where I would have to build my career again but I knew deep in my heart that she would be the one person that could stand by my side as I build my NHL career that I dreamed of having. I could see in her eyes the fear that was going to hold her back from being able to give this a try and it was the one thing I was going to fight tooth and nail to make sure that Kenna knew we would be able to make it through.

"Kenna I can see you thinking about everything that could go wrong. Please don't think right now just be in the moment."

"Jackson there is so much that we need to think about. How can we say that we are able to move to the next step without thinking about these important items that could ruin the relationship? I personally don't want to lose you as a friend."

I knew that she would never be able to shut her brain off. She would always over think things and see the worst-case scenario when it comes to putting herself before anything else. It was my job to talk her down and not get worked up too much.

"I know there can be challenges but that can happen in any relationship. Plus, we have known each other forever and I know that we can make it through this."

"How can you be so sure that we can overcome everything when you will have to push things to the limit. You are going to be building your career to get into the NHL again and I don't want to stand in your way of anything. I know that girls will be coming out of the woodwork to get to you."

"You will never be in the way of anything I want to do. It is because without you I wouldn't be able to make it anywhere."

I wanted her to know that she could be my foundation for our future, and I want to be her foundation. She didn't need to worry because I wouldn't be going after those puck bunnies. Knowing that this was a losing battle right now with trying to get her to see that we could do this.

"What happens if you get the chance at playing in the NHL again, but it means you have to move to Canada or somewhere else. I don't want you to turn down an offer because it takes you somewhere else. I can tell you right now I wouldn't move anywhere I am happy with my job and where my future is going right now. I don't know if we could really survive long distance."

I knew she wouldn't move every few months if it came to it and I wouldn't ask her to give up her life that she has started to build here. She was going to the worst-case place in her head and was using that as the reason to not even start. I would fight her tooth and nail because she wasn't right when it came to this.

"I would never ask you to pick up your life and move around following me, but I also know that no matter how far apart we are that we will be able to make it through the long distance. We are more than friends and it is because of that bond that we would be able to make it."

She gave a small smile and a little laugh as I looked at her. This was the moment I had been dreaming of since we were in high school and now that I was getting it, I wasn't going to give up without a fight. For Kenna to start to break down I knew I was getting somewhere with her.

"You are so sure about this."

"I am sure about us and look at how much we stayed in contact when I was in Los Angeles. You were the one person that talked to me almost every day. Tell me you don't feel anything, and I will leave this alone and go back to just being your friend."

I was just looking at her waiting for her to break my heart because I had a feeling this was coming. Kenna couldn't fully look me in the eyes. That could be for two reasons she didn't feel anything and would walk away from me. The next reason because she did feel something and didn't want to let it go.

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