Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

11 - fire(d)

I've been safe for weeks.

My brother drives me to school every morning, works till it's dark out and then he gets back home and cooks me a meal before we both go to bed.

It's been peaceful.

I haven't had to endure the sound of my fathers angry yelling, or feel his hands clash with my face at full force, or watch him stare at me with so much hatred in his eyes.

I'm safe now. But why don't I feel like it?

He still haunts my dreams, I still feel his presence with me no matter where I go. I fear the day he finds me and punishes me for leaving him all alone in that lonely, dark house.

I know it is what he deserves. But somehow I still feel guilty.

I get back from soccer practice, feeling tired and restless and my body aches. My coach made me stand up every once in a while and give the other girls advice because Halie was absent today.

He wanted me to be a part of practice and as much as I appreciated it, my body couldn't handle standing or walking, or anything really. But I'm supposed to be getting my cast off next week and I can't wait for that day to come.

I make it to the door of my apartment and usually I have to unlock it because Aaron is still at work but today I find the door is left unlocked. I furrow my eyebrows and back away out of fear. Aaron must have forgotten to lock it when we were leaving. So I slowly enter hoping nobody came in and stole anything and to my surprise when I expect to see a burglar in a black hoodie, and a mask, instead I find Aaron seated on the dining table with his face buried in his hands.

My heart drops when he looks up at me, his eyes tired and his mouth forming a frown. I'm afraid of what he's about to tell me. I can easily tell he has some bad news for me to hear. 'Why are you home already, it's still early.' I try to speak calmly, but that is hard to do when I am anticipating really bad news. I hope he doesn't tell me something I'm not going to like. I hope it has nothing to do with our dad. I hope we can still stay in this apartment far away from our fathers reach.

But hoping does nothing for nobody.

'I quit my job today.' He croaks, his voice is low and quiet but I still manage to hear him clearly. I drop onto the couch, it seems my crutches couldn't hold me up for much longer.

My heart races in my chest. 'What?' I ask even though I know what he said, and I know exactly what this means. 'Why would you- but you said you loved it there.' I ask confused.

Aaron groans. 'I lied.' He admits. 'I didn't want to disappoint you because you were so happy for me, so I told you what you wanted to hear.'

This is it. This is the bad thing I was anticipating all this time. I knew something was going to break this pattern of peace and happiness. This is why I haven't been able to sleep much, or eat well or think clearly. It's because I was anticipating something bad like this was going to happen soon. And like always my gut feeling was right.

Things are about to get real. It won't stay this easy for much longer.

'I hated working behind that desk Ella.' Aaron starts. 'I know it pays good money but I was miserable sitting there for hours and hours not doing shit. So I lost my temper today and my boss told me to either calm down or leave.' He takes a deep breath. 'So, I left.'

I look away from him. A part of me wants to scream at him for doing that. To tell him how fucked we are right now. Without his job we won't be able to pay rent and by the end of the month we will probably have to leave. But the other part of me understands where he's coming from.