Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

13 - pretending

I regret it.

I regret losing my temper, telling Noelle and Sam they were shitty best friends to me, and then storming out of the diner.

I regret it.

I might have meant it wholeheartedly in that moment but I should have just done what I always do. I should have just lied. Lying would have kept me from losing my two best friends tonight.

'Are you going to be okay in there all by yourself?' Timothée asks and I realize the car has come to a halt right outside of my apartment building.

I sigh. 'Yeah.' I reply and he doesn't seem too convinced by my answer. 'I'll be okay. I just wish I didn't-'

'You did nothing wrong.' Timothée states before I can bring myself down. I nod slowly. The way he said it, the way he looked at me. It made what he said sound so true. Maybe it is true. Maybe I'm really not the one to blame this time.

I open the car door and begin getting out but then I feel Timothée clutch my arm and I find myself seated again. 'Hey.' He says letting go of my arm and placing his hand on my face instead. 'Don't blame yourself for this okay? Your friends were real jerks tonight.'

The way he put his palm on my cheek, it was so loving and intimate and I couldn't help the chills that I felt building up all over my body. I look at him, like really look at him, and I see how much he cares about me.

But a selfish part of me wishes he'd care more. Maybe care enough to close the minuscule space that stood between us.I need the space between our bodies to be nonexistent. I need him to pull my mouth towards his and seal this stressful night with a peaceful kiss.

I need him.

'Okay.' I say and I back away so his warm hand leaves my cold cheek and falls back into his lap. 'Goodnight Timothée.'

Now I leave and he doesn't hold me back this time. I'm grateful because if he pulls me back into that passenger seat one more time I might not be able to control myself. It'll be like that night at the party all over again. Except this time I won't be drunk. I'll be sober and awake and I'll remember every bit of it.

Once I've made it through the gate I hear Timothée and Lola driving off. I'm ready to head upstairs and collapse onto my bed but the smell of alcohol distracts me.

I find that I have stopped in the middle of the garden, I'm only a few steps away from the stairs. My heart thumps in my chest when I see a shadow of a man behind me. He is tall, bulky and he's holding a bottle of alcohol in his right hand. I watch slowly as his shadow moves and he takes a large gulp of his bottle.

Then I find it in me to turn around.

'Fuck Drew, you scared the shit out of me.' My leg wobbles slightly but I don't know if it's because I'm still getting used to walking on it or if it's because of how terrified I just was in that moment.

That shadow. It was painted to look so much like an image of my father.

I'm grateful it was just Drew, my shy next-door neighbor who I never pictured to ever be holding a bottle of alcohol in his hands. 'Why do you look so pale?' He asks, letting out a creepy chuckle. 'Did you think I was some creepy old drunk dude and I was going to harass you in the middle of the night?' He asks and I laugh a little.

'Something like that.' I say and I watch as he brings the drink to his lips once again and takes an even larger gulp this time. The sight of him makes me want to cry. He was so young, why did he look so sad?

So broken.

'So, you work at Steve's Diner?' Drew says eyeing my uniform and reading the logo on my shirt. I notice his eyes lingering a little too long on my left breast and I thump him on the head.