Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

36 - content

I stagger out of his car and thank god I was able to hold back the throw up that kept fighting its way up my throat throughout the entire car ride back to my place.

Once I'm out the car I take in the fresh air, and the cool breeze finally hits me allowing me to relax for a brief moment, but then another round of vomit escapes me and I'm throwing up on the sidewalk now.

'Fuck.' Timmy curses under his breath, holding me back from falling over and leading me through the open gate. 'Still feel sick huh?' He asks and I nod, letting him guide me up to my apartment.

I'm wobbly and dizzy, my head spins and I press my palm onto my forehead, trying to ease the ache somehow. Timmy's hand is around my waist, his eyes are trained on me, making sure I'm okay. That I won't trip, topple over or throw up again. I cherish this, because it might be the last time he outwardly shows any care or affection for me. It might be the last time he looks at me like this ever again.

In a few days, when we're at school, when I'm sober and aware I know he's going to put up a wall again, just like I put mine up for him. I know he'll go back to wishing I didn't exist. That we never met again. That I never broke his big beautiful heart.

But it's better this way. For me and for him. We both get what we want. Timmy gets to go to his dream university without me holding him back and life gets made easier for me because I won't have to be hurt when he's gone. Because by the time he leaves I'll be strong enough to endure it.

I'll be prepared.

We get to my door and once Timmy knocks on the harsh wood the door flings open. 'Ella thank god-' Aaron pauses once he catches sight of Timothée with his arm wrapped around my waist. He furrows his eyebrows at us but he doesn't question it, he only helps Timmy lead me inside.

They sit me on the couch and as Aaron sits beside me Timmy walks over to the kitchen to fetch me a cup of water. Once he hands it to me I giggle. 'Water?' I scoff. 'Kinda hoped you'd grab me some vodka to be honest. I need something strong to numb the pain.' I don't know why I said that but I did, and I see something flash through his eyes.

Hope? Reassurance? Maybe he's happy that I'm feeling pain, because pain means guilt and guilt means I feel remorse for "cheating" on him. I'm not sure what's he's thinking right now. But the look in his eye goes away instantaneously and he stands up once again to grab me some pain killers.

'Here.' He says handing them to me. 'Take this, trust me it's better than vodka.' I do as he says, because I need to feel better. I need a solution. My heart aches so painfully and I need something to numb the pain in my heart. Even though I know the painkillers won't help me I still pretend they do.

I pretend they'll cure the heartache.

'Thank you.' I say, swallowing them down. The two boys stare at me. Aaron with concern and Timmy with confusion written all over his face. They ask me how I am, they tell me to rest my head on the couch but I refuse.

'I- I think I want to lay on the bed. The couch isn't as comfy.' Aaron nods, standing up to help guide me there but Timothée beats him to it.

Once I stand up I feel dizzy, and on the verge of collapsing on the floor and giving up completely. But Timmy's hand is around me, the way it always is to steady me. I feel safe in his arms. I always feel safe in his arms.

He leads me to my bedroom and sits me on the bed. Immediately I flop onto my back and close my eyes, letting my cheek sink into the soft pillow.

I can feel him taking off my shoes gently, I would do that myself but I don't want to move right now. The bed is way too comfy, and I'm so tired and exhausted because I haven't slept well in days. I've been wide awake, the pain in my chest making it hard to sleep.