Requested by DevilsSkull (Be warned, it has potentially triggering material.)
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Hurt!Reader x Kakashi
Reader POV
Roaring flames...screaming people...crying children...it's all I can think about.
Because it's my fault...I should've saved them, but I didn't.
The feeling of cold steel against my wrist is followed by the sting of my skin slicing open, the stream of blood flowing out the wound and over the old scars before dripping into the warm bath water below.
As much as it hurts...it isn't enough...
But, try as I might, I can't hold the kunai tight enough to repeat the action. The knife slips out of my hand and falls into the reddened water, lightly clattering as my head tilts back against the edge of the tub, my vision blurring and swimming...I feel sick to my stomach...but I'm too drained to move...
It isn't enough...I wasn't enough...not strong enough...
They suffered because of me...it's only right that I do the same.
The images replay over and over again as the water slowly turns cold, my body turning numb and unresponsive as I stare blankly at the wall in front of me. My vision turning dark as if an invisible sleeping mask is being slid over my eyes, cutting off the rest of my senses with it.
The rapid thump of feet wakes my ears for just a brief moment before it starts slipping away too, even when the sound of the bathroom door being pounded on should make me panic. The rattle of the locked doorknob joins the intense knocking sound, but I don't bother trying to speak...just as I don't bother fighting the darkness that's pulling me under.
"(Y/n)?! (Y/n)?! Open the door! Answer me (y/n)!!"
A familiar voice yells through the wooden barrier, the fear and desperation in the tone causing a twinge in my chest.
No...no, he shouldn't be here...
"(Y/N)?!?!"
The door splinters as it's kicked off its hinges, and footsteps begin making their way towards me as my eyes finally close.
"(Y/N)!!!"
Their strangled cry is the last thing my ears register before I fall completely into the abyss, weightlessness following the sensation of being removed from the frigid water.
It still isn't enough.
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Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
What...what is that irritating noise?
I had just gotten used to the dark oblivion, the empty blackness more bearable than the cruel reality I had just left. Why the hell is there a stupid beeping noise here?
"I don't understand Tsunade, it's been a week, why hasn't she woken up?"
A voice drifts in through the haze in my brain, it's ghost like presence pulling at a memory.
What is he doing here? He shouldn't be here...I am the only one who should be here.
"You have to understand Kakashi, her heart stopped. She was dead for two minutes before she was revived...along with extreme blood loss, her body is still recovering from the trauma...she's lucky she didn't suffer permanent brain damage from hypovolemic shock."
So...I wasn't dead...just unconscious?
"You have to give her time. If you hadn't found her when you did, there wouldn't have been anything I could do that could save her."
