Me and Mr Topp.

Acceptance.

To claim that a person was either crying or they were asleep seemed excessive and yet I was there. If I showered, I cried. If I ate, I cried. If I was watching a movie, I cried. Even while staring into the black abyss of the Christmas tree on Christmas day while presents were unwrapped and opened up, I was sat crying. The kids would try to make me happy but I cried some more.

"I have never known a person to be low key crying all day. And night. I checked on your last night and found you sleep crying. If it hurts this bad, talk to him. Clean it up." If I spoke to him it would only get worse. We all knew that but it would have been better in the long run.

"I'm fine. Honestly," I commented and began to help George unwrap his present. It was a set of shoes that lit up and he loved them. A smile growing so wide on his face as he saw them.

"Shoe, shoe!" He declared and I helped as he sat down and stuck his feet up in the air for me to put them on. The presents were soon unwrapped and a walk was initiated.

"No thanks," I murmured and tucked my feet up and sat huddled on the chair. My jumper moved down to cover my legs and the fluffy socks covered my cold toes.

"I'll hang back too," Dad spoke and I watched them all leave. The kids were so happy to be going out with the older people while they played with their toys.

"I will see you when I get back." I could hear mum kiss dad but I had my eyes closed to try and stop the flow of tears. When the door closed though it all fell back out again and I knew that Shayne couldn't be as shaken up over it as I was.

"Oh, Bean," Dad murmured and his hand fell onto mine as he then tugged on it and I sat next to him with his arm wrapped around me.

"I love him, daddy." I snorted and sniffed as he just listened to me. If he wasn't a lawyer he would have surely given it away but I knew he was upset for me.

"Bean, we all deserve to know the truth and so does he. Tell him how you are doing. Respond to a call and even if you cry. Who cares? He won't. I know that you have been ignoring his calls but maybe you could pick up today or you could call him. It might be the last thing you want to do or it might be the first but just do it. This isn't you. The last time all of you were together like this I spent my time worried that I would have to represent you in court and now I am scared that I am going to have to read a eulogy for you." His arm kept around me and I slowly fell asleep.

Only to wake to my watch buzzing crazily and it wasn't a call. I checked and there it was. A picture, my hair covered my face but dad was asleep with me, the title summed it all up.

You would have thought that she would have changed her password. Still, daddy's girl has had a rough few weeks and now she is home and enjoying the tired life. #MerryChristmas.

I didn't care for the picture much but it was nice and all I wanted. It was a memory of a time I wanted to forget but shouldn't forget.

The time was nearly lunch and food filled the house. I felt glad of it as I could munch on some good food while enjoying the day. My tears seemed to be drying up and that was amazing. I was getting over him. Only for all that to come crashing down. I heard a ring on my phone and my watch buzzed, before I could turn it down someone had picked it up and it was somewhere in the house. I had no clue where so I had to hunt it down.

"Hello. I am Faith. Lovely to meet you finally. I just wish to provide a warning for you. Aphrodite has just woken up from a nap, I have locked myself in the bathroom to answer this call and she is currently not crying for the first time since we got home and she was in her bed. She sleep cries. That woman has done more for this family and the world than you will ever know, from being our mother at times but then also getting us in trouble with our mother. She is a valued member of this family and her tears are not shed lightly. She was bullied for a year at school and thought none of us knew about it. She would come home from school and baby us, even Aletheia because that is who she is. Now, speak to her like she deserves to be spoken to, a decent human being who you will never be as good as." I laughed at the last comment before finally unlocking the toilet door from the outside and pushing in. I loved being a nurse. It forced certain muscles to be strong.