Her Beef

Chapter 14: New Start

         Things were going so good for me out here in Atlanta. I'm happier than I have ever been. Desaundra is getting bigger and I have had to go to the gym six times a week because of her. She eats everything and always has me eating with her. I been doing a lot of modeling and been in a few videos. My manager just gotta call from Mona Scott Young wanting me to be on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta.

         Everyone has been telling me to do it but I'm not sure about reality TV. They have away of bringing out the worst in people.

           I was on my way to lunch with Ciara and baby Future. We were going to plan a baby shower for Sauna. Ciara was very cool and down to earth. She has shown me all the wonderful things about the ATL. The heat was on fleek  but I truly did love it down here. It seemed like all the drama of Dawn and Aubrey had faded away. I was gonna ask Ciara what she thought about me being on Love and Hip Hop.

            " Hey pretty girl." Ciara greeted me. " Hey boo! I want to talk to you about a business proposition I got offered." I said hugging her and taking my seat. " OK let's hear girly." She said with a smile. I loved Ciara because she wasn't judgemental and you could talk to her and get good advice. " What do you think about me being on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta" I said.

            " Well it could be career suicide or it could be a blessing depending on what you want to be portrayed as. They can make you look go or bad. Are you willing to put your personal life out there for the public" she said with a very serious tone. I never really thought about it that way. My private life would now be very public. My personal life hasn't been public since I left New York.

   " I don't know if I'm ready to put my personal life back out there, but I do feel like the show can be platform for me to promote the other things I have going on. It can be a gift and a curse." I said. Reality TV is a very tricky business. I don't have to have drama and rachetness going on just to be on the show or do I.

             " You just have decide what it is that you want them to put out there about you. Let them know certain things you are not willing to put out there. That's if your going to do it." She said. Cici gave me a lot to think about. We ate and laughed and planned Desaundra's baby shower. I think she will love it.

             Ciara and I said our goodbyes and then went in different directions. I wasn't paying attention to the all black BMW with the dark tints.

         The Next Day.....

    I have been having the weirdest feelings lately. I just shook them off because I do have a lot going on. I was on my IPad scrolling thru my Twitter when I saw a tweet from Aubrey. Him and Wayne were going on a tour together called Drake vs Lil Wayne. I was happy for him. Now I am not going to stunt I am still in love with that man and I miss him like crazy. I just know that right now we aren't meant to be together.

         I was about to tweet something but I didn't. Sometimes you have to leave things alone and if it's meant to happen it will. I was going to catch a flight to Miami tonight so that I could be there for Jhene's show she was having. Her album Souled Out was amazing and I listened to it all the time. She invited me so I'm going.  Tahiry and Shakeya were meeting me there.

             I was going to go do some shopping with my girl Tammy (Waka's wife) and get my nails done. Shadd is post to be taking me to catch my flight afterwards. I hope wasn't late like always.  I was post to be meeting Tammy at this little boutique on Peach Tree street. When I pulled up Tammy was out there waiting for me. I guess she was on the phone with Waka because she was all smiles.

         " Hey my love." She said hanging up the phone. I gave her a hug and we went inside. We were shopping in silence because I was wondering if Aubrey would be at Jhene's show.  " Well are you going to do the show?" Tammy asked me. I haven't really been giving it any thought.  " I don't know yet. I don't want them to put me in a whole bunch of drama filled situations. You get what I'm saying." I said.

         " Yes I do, but you don't have to be part of that drama. It would make me happy to have one of my real friends on the show with me. Just think about it please boo." She said giving me the puppy dog eyes. I shook my head yes and hugged her. Maybe doing the show wouldn't be as bad as I'm thinking it would be.

         We finished shopping and our hair and nails were done. It was time for me to go get my bags and head to the airport. I told Tammy I would call her when I got back. When I got home my brother had already put my bags in the trunk and was just waiting for me. I hoped in his car and we were on our way. I was in thoughts when my phone started buzzing.

Messages:
Tahiry: We here chick hurry up
Me: Ctfu on my way just got to the airport
Tahiry: Ok slow ass lol :-)
Me: Luv you too lol :-)

  I couldn't wait to see my girls. I missed them so much but I had to get away from the drama. After being shot I had enough. They still didn't find the person who shot me. My brother thinks it was Dawn but I don't think it was her. Some things about that night are still a blurred mess but I know it wasn't Dawn. I still have dreams about that night.

           My brother snapped me out of my thoughts getting out of the car. I got out and he walked me to the gate. " Have fun lady bug. If anything happens and you need me don't hesitate to call Ok." He said hugging me and kissing me on the forehead. " Ok tell Sauna don't have that baby while I'm gone." I said.

      I walked thru the gate and got on my plane. Once I got in my seat I took a selfie and posted it to my IG. I captioned it #OnMyWayToSeeJhene#Bestie. I put my ear buds in and listened to my song Lyin King by Jhene.

     All the while I didn't know that I had someone following my every move. She was waiting for the right time to come at me.