Hopeless Honey

Family Values

I got all the kids to take a shower and put on pjs. It was around 9 when we actually started to watch the movie. They all came down as I was putting out bowls of popcorn for them to snack on during the movie.

I sat on the couch and the filled up all the spaces except one right next to me. I put my feet there and began the movie.

"You guys were going to start the movie without me?" A surprised look took over me. Xavier came down the steps.

"Yay! Zay is gonna watch the movie with us!" The youngest yelled. He smiled at her. He looked around for a seat and spotted me. He came over and cleared his throat.

"Can I sit here?" He sat before I could respond, shifting my legs over and squeezing into the tight space.

He never watched our Thursday movie with us, or at least he hadn't in years. I was surprised, but also uncomfortable. We were squished into a tiny spot made for one person. I tried to ignore him and watch the movie.

The lights were off and it was almost pitch dark in the room. We were pressed together and he was actually kind of warm. He turned to the side and his face was so close to mine I could feel his warm breath. He stared into my eyes. His blue ones to my dark brown ones. He leaned in real close, our mouthes were only a few movements away from touching. I looked down at his lips and stared. I was frozen, I couldn't help but be entranced by him. He moved in closer and right when he was going to kiss me he pulled back.

"Ew, did you really think I was gonna kiss you?" He whispered in my ear and laughed, watching my flustered look.

"Get away from me" Was all I could say frantically pushing away and moving closer to Alex who was sitting on the other side of me. He just laughed.

I definitely was not going to let him kiss me. I don't know what took over me but I wasn't going to kiss back. I don't know why he was so obsessed with making me uncomfortable.Why he couldn't just leave me alone.

I felt him looking at me during the movie, he slowly scooted closer over the course of thirty minutes and we were seated like we were in the beginning. I didn't turn to look at him once. If I laughed at a joke he would laugh harder. When I grabbed the popcorn bowl, he dig his hand in and make sure it touched mine.

When the movie was over, everyone except Sarah and I were asleep on the couch. Even Xavier. He actually looks sweet, Sound asleep holding his little sister in his arms.

Sarah helped me clean all the popcorn bowls, all the cups of soda, and candy wrappers. I carried baby Taylor to her bedroom. Then Maddie. When I went back down, Xavier was up, and he was carrying his other sister up the steps.

"I got the others, get some rest" he said to me in his husky sleeping voice.

I was surprised by this, but I didn't complain. I walked to the other side of the house and sat in my bedroom. It was much nicer than the one in my actual house, but it didn't feel like it could ever actually be mine. It was smaller than all the other kids rooms, but huge compared to my actual bedroom. It had its own bathroom attached, and across the hall was my moms bedroom.

She was probably sound asleep. Since she had me at 17, she's had to work ever since she was a teen. But she never went out with friends or had boyfriends, or anything at all. She just worked. I was eternally grateful, but I wanted her to enjoy herself as well.

None of us had school tomorrow since it was the start of spring break. I was going to go see Mateo tomorrow at his families restaurant after closing to help him because he usually does it all alone.

I laid in bed, not being able to sleep. I laid in minimal clothing because the room was hot. I shifted around in bed, thinking about everything. Why had Xavier try and kiss me? Why did he always feel the need to pick on me? Yeah, I admit he's attractive, but he is seriously lacking in the personality department. I see that he has likable qualities, he's definitely a family man. He was also really good with kids in general.

He didn't have the best relationship with his parents, but he showed affection when it counted. I remember when we were little and my mom would watch the both of us. He would say "mamá te quiero" because he heard me say it. and I would say "she's not your mom she's my mom"

It happened a few times where the kids would call my mom "mommy" instead of her name. Ms.Betty would be mad at my mom. "You're not their real mom, I am" my mom tried explaining that they're just kids and they don't know any better. She would punish them every time. It was classic case of when the kids are raised by the nanny and as a result don't have relationships with their parents.

Although the kids were richer than any of them actually knew, they weren't spoiled. They had family values. They understood the worth of love over material, and they knew how lucky they were. A lot of this was thanks to my mother. She would always tell them stories of when she lived back home. About how poor she was, but how she never gave up. She taught us that if she could move from so far away and be here with us today, that anything is possible.

Sometimes I was jealous, when I was younger, I couldn't distinguish between this life in a huge mansion, every toy I could think of, all the food I could want, everything I needed, and people who lived in poverty on the other side of town in my own neighborhood. I didn't understand how these two extremes could exist without acknowledging each other.

I finally let myself fall asleep I knew I had a busy day tomorrow and it was already past midnight.

I had tired myself out with my thoughts, and Sleeping was the only think I could think of right now.