❝ dense ❞ ; annyeongz

narr-87-ation

third person point of view

nakakasakal yung hangin.

that's how wonyoung described her night.

she was drinking her coffee, sitting comfortably at her balcony.

but she cannot deny the uneasiness she was feeling inside- na para bang sinasakal siya. ngunit wala siyang magawa.

just a few minutes ago, she felt that the burden on her arms slowly lessened.

napangiti siya, ng malungkot. she knew that those words will finally set all the mixed feelings free, but again, she was wrong.

and she swore that she wouldn't cry.

pinakawalan ko rin naman na siya, diba?

at yun ang naging umpisa ng pag-iyak niya.

inilapag niya ang kaniyang baso sa lamesa, at agad niyang itinago ang kaniyang mukha sa mainit niyang mga kamay.

she cried too much because of her. wonyoung knew that herself.

but she always chose the only right answer that she knew.

yujin.

napatawa siya sa kaniyang sarili. because fuck, she lived contented. but all of a sudden, it turned into a confusing rollercoaster that she cannot seem to get out of.

lahat ng panahong magkasama sila- maging tawanan, iyakan, o simpleng kulitan, ay ang mga panahong nakaramdam siya ng totoong saya.

she thought she was happy. but she didn't know that she was happier when she's with her.

wonyoung described herself as a blank space.

a blank space that's waiting to be filled. to be answered. to have a meaning.

don't get her wrong, though. minahal niya ang kaniyang buhay. like she said, she was contented. pero nung lumipas ang ilang taon ng magisa siya at walang kasama, dahil lagi niyang piniling mapagisa, that's when she realized that something's missing.

that she was contented, but she wasn't happy.

may panahong natawa siya sa sarili niya at napaisip na, baka kailangan ko ng crush?

but she knew that it wasn't that. she's too young. and she never liked people, whether handsome, smart, pretty, or just too kind. inisip niya lagi na, tao lang sila. there's always nothing special.

then a girl, short-haired, a little too tall for her age, just like her, came up to her to ask something she didn't expect.

grade 4 na tayo sa susunod na taon, wala ka pa ring kinakausap. gusto mo makipagkaibigan? lagi kitang sasamahan!

and they became friends.

after 3 years, she knew that she felt different.

pero hindi niya ito sinabi sakaniya. she only kept it to herself.

that she was happy.

within three years, she thought that she knew the answer to her bland, dull, life. or social life, she thought.

but it didn't really matter. she knows that she  now had the same girl who ridiculously asked a question at the last day of 3rd grade.

ahn yujin.

the only cause for her unsaid feelings.

noong nasa ika-5 baitang sila, wonyoung thought that the older was cool.